


Dead Poets

by Fictionalsideblog



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Aware of the Consequences 20 something, Blowjobs, Call me by your name, Determined Teenage Boy, Embedded Images, Gen, Happy Ending, Inspired by Call Me By Your Name, M/M, Not So Unrequited Crush, Pining, Prom, Sarcasm, School Dances, Time Jump, Underage but not TECHNICALLY so, Unrequited Crush, angsty, car kisses, fictional fiction, out of my comfort zone, texting in class
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:27:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23354656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fictionalsideblog/pseuds/Fictionalsideblog
Summary: Boarding School Performing Arts Senior meets fresh out of Grad School Substitute English Teacher. Sass, Shakespeare and Sex ensue.
Relationships: Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer
Comments: 178
Kudos: 311





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LivefromG25](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LivefromG25/gifts).



> Subject is beyond out of my comfort zone for reasons of creative exercise. For 6, and her LTT muse, and for the C.U squad of cheerleaders on this! An attempt was made :D If you like let me know!
> 
> One Shot in Parts because that's just who I am. 
> 
> Fictional fiction is fiction, any and all likeness to and around and named, is purely ... on purpose but without malice or profit etcetcetc.

**Setting : Performing Arts School - Wilderness, Somewhere, Upstate NY. Alternate Reality.**

Backed up against the cold tile, he couldn’t breathe in the best way possible, and the coiling of lust and a little fear mixed in with complete disbelief as he kept his eyes on the other man. As he held him up against the tile without so much of a strain, a strong arm pinning him in place, firm but gentle - the look in the other man’s eyes however, less gentle. Their breaths mixed in a way that made Tim tingle all over. He had baited the other man to this point, he knew he had, deliberately, he wanted this, my _God_ he wanted this and so much more thereafter. But, there was a type of anger in the other man’s eyes, that he hadn’t fully fantasied about. 

“Trust me when I tell you, you couldn’t even handle it.” he all but bit, slowly, pointedly, as he loosened the grip holding him in place, stepping back, the anger - the flash of red, now gone from his eyes. Replaced with something else, something Timmy _hated_ to witness. 

“Now go, _please_.” 

***********

  
  


It wasn’t that he didn’t fit in, he absolutely did. 

He made sure he did. 

The version of him that he and they wanted him to be at least, here he wasn’t struggling on a scholarship, from a working class neighbourhood, with hard working people, who - gasp - didn’t have summer homes in Europe. Here he was advanced placement AND the star of the play - hard earned on both counts.

The school was his reason for keeping his dream alive, they encouraged every whim, every creative outlet, and for what they charged, they damn well should. His first few years took him from quiet in a room full of strangers, to improv at the drop of a hat - no literally, whenever anyone dropped a hat anywhere, someone _had_ to improvise a skit. Whatever shell he had he had come out of it, the closet however … remained another thing entirely.

It got tiring though, balancing… considering he also had to do ‘real’ school work on top of three plays a year and end of year exams in all scholastic topics, as well as creative. The ‘real’ school work was his least favourite, and had the most boring teachers.

Until _he_ walked through the door.

Timmy could say he swooned, but he didn’t he had, at _one time_ , some self respect. But he did linger longer on him than any of the teachers he’d seen at the Academy, or anywhere else for that matter.

Super Tall, like almost point guard tall, swept back dirty blond hair, eyes so blue Tim was sure there were poems about such things, and built, frankly like a very waspy tank. 

‘Mr Hammer - _Call me Armie_.’ Had a mild manner with a hint of something more akin to ‘fuck you’ behind that deep, but comforting voice. Miss Tanner introduced him, her replacement for AP English, patting her bump as she did so. Maternity leave, apparently. Which made his entrance on that October day make all the more sense.

The thing was, he recognised him, he had seen him take up all the space in the small coffee shop in town the day before - he had ordered a Double Shot Americano, no sugar, no milk. Timmy had remembered because he had winced at the bitterness, and laughed when the very-tall-hottie did the same as he exited. At the time Timmy had assumed a grad-student, but as it turns out no, just a fresh out of wherever it was they made teachers. Doing the math, he instantly realised ‘call me Armie’ wasn’t much older than the class of seniors he was about to take charge of.

_Interesting_.

He arrived with a blurry of chat in the classroom, breezing in like sunshine through the dirty windows. All tall and stunning, in a baby blue shirt, white tee and tan pants with darker boots. He was tan too, maybe he was one of those people that summered in Europe. Timmy assumed he’d never be one of those people.

As he took his seat, he smiled, and at that Tim was pretty sure he had zoned out for a decade. He knew vaguely that the man was introducing himself properly, and in turn asking everyone to do the same for him, even though he also had a book with names and photos from Freshman year that the teachers sometimes used with newbies or subs.

“Timothee?” he heard and he blinked back into the room. 

“Oh yes, hi. I’m it’s - Yes.” There was a rattle of laughter in the class, and _call me Armie,_ smiled again - and wow that went straight to his dick as he made eye contact with the older man.

“Where were you Timothee, somewhere nice I hope?”

_Again more giggles._

“It’s Timmy - actually.” He asserted, from the second row. Spreading his legs longer out under his desk as he spoke, relaxing further into his seat.

At that Armie cocked a brow, the smile, now a smirk and _oh God._

“Timmy, good to know. Wherever it is you went, I’d appreciate it if you left your imaginary adventures for the uh, other teachers, okay?” 

He nodded and got an eye roll from Viv to his left. 

“Now that I’ve introduced us to each other is there anything you’d like to ask me?’

“Yeah, how old are you?” Alex asked, enticing more laughter from the class, and another smile from Armie. “‘Cause you seem too young to be in that spot.”

He just shook his head.

“I’m old enough, next question.”

“Where are you from?” Someone from the back of the class asked, _boring_.

“Cali. Don’t hold it against me.”

He could think of several things he wanted to hold against him, repeatedly. 

“Are you married?” Timmy asked, and that got no laughter, but it did get a head tilt as Armie slid his ass on the desk, leaning as he folded his arms.

“Nope. Now, as for the rest of the semester…” the quick pivot piqued Timmy’s interest. He saw no ring, and then got distracted when his new, deliciously dangerous day dream of a teacher turned around.

Suddenly English was his new _favourite_ subject.

****

Two weeks in and his crush hadn’t dissipated, more like exacerbated. Once he discovered Armie wore glasses it was all it took to send him over the edge into full on fantasy mode. He knew it was wrong, and probably really weird, but he was that hot and frankly Tim didn’t feel even a little bad about it. He knew he wasn't alone, and probably half the girls in school and a few more of the boys felt the same. But, for the most part he was able to keep up in class - whilst at times being up, much to his discomfort, but it went unnoticed, he assumed, and his class work and participation wasn’t suffering so he was fine with it. They - the school gossips - had discovered the newest substitute was 24, and had moved to the little town less than a month before starting the job. Nothing more, or less was known about him and when he realised he wanted to know everything, when he barely registered the other teachers as humans, well, it said a lot.

****

Keeping his distance, worked just fine, until one Wednesday he was called on his way out of the class. Armie standing over his desk, glasses on, face of concentration on some papers as he called him back.

“Yes Sir?”

He winced, and he took all Timmy’s strength not to laugh. He liked that it made him a little uncomfortable.The school had a lax view on the Mr and Miss addressing of teachers, but it was still polite to Sir and Miss them when answering a direct request. Seemed like everyone but Armie was fine with it.

“Mrs Andrews asked me to uh, oversee? The play rehearsals from tomorrow. Since you’re the main guy I was wondering if there was anything I’ m meant to do or say or ...not say?” he smiled, and the former large and in charge ranter of Shakespeare was suddenly almost bashful, and Timmy was almost in love. 

“Oh.”

“I promise not to interfere too much with the uh, creative process. And it’s only for a little while until she gets back from her trip.”

Tim nodded meandering his way back to where the other man stood, standing just a hair too close. Testing the waters. 

“Sure, well the rehearsals go from three til five Thurs, Monday, Tuesday.”

“And weekends? She said something about the kids who board getting extra rehearsal time.”

“Oh yeah, well I board but not on weekends, and that’s usually for the band, being honest they need all the help they can get.” he smiled before whispering, “Divas.” 

It made the other man smile and wow, that was a reaction he was really loving being the cause of.

“Not you though right? No Diva behaviour?”

Timmy was preoccupied by the tufts of hair peeking out from the t-shirt he wore under his shirt, was it soft? It looked soft. He wanted to touch it. He wanted to touch everything.

“Only sometimes…” he was trying for coy, he was but he could barely keep still, swaying almost, opening his space up for Hammer to step into if he chose.

He didn’t.

“Okay, well. I guess see you - all - tomorrow.” The serious exterior came back, but before he knew it he had already said a stupid thing - the first of many, many stupid things.

“Okay, it's a date!”

_Oh no, no no no._

Armie raised his brows before letting out a small, gruff laugh.

“Tomorrow then.” he nodded to the door, giving Tim a literal out which he took happily, getting to the other side of the door, he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

****

The play was their end of semester production, just before the Christmas break, they put on a show for over six hundred people. The pressure was real, as sometimes, there was a talent agent there, or two, depending on who called in what favours. And this year being his last year Timmy was determined to make it a show stopper! He didn’t need any distractions, this was his focus, and yet, when Armie walked in all casual and ridiculously good looking in well worn jeans, work boots and a motherfucking Henley, he almost drooled.

But he had a plan!

So he scampered off the side of the stage, leaving Kim and Jack mid-sentence.

“Hi.” he opened, more breathless than he wanted to appear. As Armie shuffled papers on the desk below the stage he nodded at him. 

“Hey. Everyone got everything they need?”

Timmy looked to the stage then, no one was paying them any attention of course, so he handed the other man the other coffee in his hand. 

“I got you this. It’s … gonna be a long few hours, trust me you’ll need it.” 

Armie looked from Tim’s hands to his face.

“You bought me a coffee?”

“Sure. Why not…” He held it out and Armie took it, he didn’t brush his fingers like he so desperately wanted to. Jane Austen would have been pissed at him. 

“I … don’t think I can take this… it feels …” 

“I mean it was free from the cafeteria if that helps?” 

His face relaxed.

“Oh, okay that… seems like it should be okay.” he took a sip and looked at Timmy surprised. 

“I took a guess…” Timmy admitted, lying like a _liar_.

“Americano, no sugar, no milk…?”

Tim nodded, knowing that his face probably sold him out.

“Uh huh!”

Armie shrugged, “Good guess.” And he touched his shoulder, friendly, and only for a second, but Tim was thrilled. 

“There’s better places in town, obviously but I didn’t have time to go there today.” 

“Frankies is good.” Armie offered, and yes it was, it was where he saw him before. 

“A little bitter though, but it’s okay I like it a little dark and surprising…” 

_What was he doing? Why was he so bad at this?_

Armie smiled before he spoke again.

“Okay, uh, places? I guess? Show me what you’ve got.”

Tim smirked then, knowing he didn’t mean it as it sounded. Knowing too that when he blushed, the other man realised exactly how it sounded. But he chose to ignore it before leaning over the desk to shout.

“Places everyone please, let’s get this run through on the road!”

Gruff, in charge and absolutely mid-blush. Tim took that knowledge like a secret and carried it all throughout the rehearsal. Knowing he was down there in the dark of the audience somehow made him want to be better than ever. 

*****

Timmy discovered that while lusting after his English teacher was one of his favourite pastimes, that baiting and debating with him was right up there as a close second.

“He was a hack, that much is clear.” he’d state, practically laying down in his chair, his legs spread as far, making himself comfortable to watch his teacher pace and counter his opinion. And he would, very well too. All facts and reason, but underneath a passion for making everyone understand the motives, the reasoning behind the stories or the poems. He talked to the students like they were _people_ , and everyone instantly loved him for it. He wasn’t trying to earn their approval - past the first week anyhow, and he told stories, and the stories behind the stories, better than anyone Timmy had ever encountered, and he was at a performing arts school. 

That said something. 

That or maybe he was just infatuated with the guy, who knew. 

***

A couple of weeks in and their assignment was to pick a poem of choice, and read it in class, a daunting task in most other schools, but there, it was their thing. Monologuing to an audience was his vibe. But in that instance, he took his shot because the only audience he wanted to see the reaction from was the one leaning far too sexily on his oak desk. He had attempted to flirt with the guy, being as unsubtle as possible, and though he wasn’t entirely sure if Armie was gay, he knew for sure he wasn’t exactly straight either. Don’t ask him how he knew, he just did. 

But thus far had been professional and amused by Timmy’s attempts. Laughing off the compliments, patting him on the shoulder in a friendly but distancing manner, rolling his eyes joyfully at the jibes and comments of the other students on his looks, or his manner of speaking compared to the older ones in charge. Armie was on the seniors level, and everyone loved him. And he was pretty sure at least half the class had a full on crush on the guy,but Tim was determined to get his attention any way he could. 

[So he picked a poem, and stood up, and as unnerving as it was to do, he made straight eye contact with his target the entire time.](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/49204/whoever-you-are-holding-me-now-in-hand)

_Whoever you are holding me now in hand,_

_Without one thing all will be useless,_

_I give you fair warning before you attempt me further,_

_I am not what you supposed, but far different._

He began, fixing his gaze on the man in front of him, forcing the rest of them to fade away. Watching only for his response, if any. Curious at first, his brow furrowed, arms crossed, as he listened, as everyone listened. 

_Who is he that would become my follower?_

_Who would sign himself a candidate for my affections?_

That’s when he pushed himself off his desk, blinking out of the direct eye contact, to pace the room in front of the whiteboard. Timmy took all his resistance to not smile through his very serious reading. By the time Armie settled again he was determined to catch his eye, and he did, as he took his seat, leaning back in his chair.

_...Here to put your lips upon mine I permit you,_

_With the comrade’s long-dwelling kiss or the new husband’s kiss,_

_For I am the new husband and I am the comrade._

He watched as his teacher all but squirmed in his chair, and he had known that to inflict a deeper tone to his voice while reading such a poem might elicit some reaction, his own body was electrified as he continued to read with as much emotion as he could muster. It felt like they were the only two people in the universe if he could have had it his way in that moment. 

_Or if you will, thrusting me beneath your clothing,_

_Where I may feel the throbs of your heart or rest upon your hip,_

_Carry me when you go forth over land or sea;_

_For thus merely touching you is enough, is best,_

_And thus touching you would I silently sleep and be carried eternally._

At that Armie narrowed his gaze at him and he knew something clicked. He couldn’t stop the small smirk that escaped his lips as he continued on until the end. By the end, his ever so dramatic classmates gave him a small clap, Tory commended him on great emotive ability, of all things. It was cute. He thanked her. But the only reaction he wanted was Armie’s and he couldn’t figure it out because he had then turned his back to him. 

“Thank you, Timmy -” 

Before they could move on, the bell rang. Everyone in a flurry to pack up their things, but not including Timmy. He took his time so he would be one of the last out the door, just to see what would happen. And sure enough, whilst shuffling papers on his already freakishly neat desk, Armie called.

“Timmy can I discuss something with you for a second?”

“Thanks guys, have a good weekend.” He offered to the other students passing him by, with that open friendly smile, and when the room emptied it faded as he moved back to his desk. Timmy stood, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet, unable to keep still. 

Armie didn’t look directly at him, instead went back to the magical papers on his desk.

“That was uh, an interesting choice of poem, Tim.”

Tim, he liked that. 

“Why interesting?” he countered. 

At that Armie did look at him. 

“Your choice of infliction was also interesting. It was rather _pointed_.”

Timmy smirked and at that Armie rolled his eyes.

“So it was on purpose then.”

He shrugged. 

“Why?”

He shrugged again.

“Use your words, you’re quite good with them.” That thrilled Timmy to no end to know. He had impressed him in some way.

“Because I … wanted you to know.”

Narrowed eyes met his own wide eyed faux innocent ones.

“Because you wanted me to know… what?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?”

The other man shifted uncomfortably. 

“Timothee -”

“Don’t - I know what it is and what it isn’t… I do. I also know I’m wrong in this. But that it is what it is.”

It. Him. His feelings. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew - of course he did. That didn’t make feelings just disappear, however.

“Look it’s -” 

“Please don’t say _flattering_.” he rolled his own eyes then.

The other man closed his eyes then. 

“Inappropriate is the word I was going to use.”

“That’s even worse.” Timmy laughed, so uncomfortable in himself now, he felt as he was, so exposed.

“ Look -” 

Before he could continue Karen - Miss Lucas - A complete nightmare that taught French and Italian poked her head in the doorway.

“Armie - Oh sorry I didn’t know you had company.”

He turned, smiled, all stupidly soft and nice to her. 

“Oh hey, no it’s …” looking at Timmy. “Not …” he looked back at her. “What’s up?”

“Just to touch base about uh,” she looked to Timmy, who was not excusing himself. “Later.”

“Right, Seven Thirty, reservations if that’s cool.”

She smiled and Timmy’s heart sank. _Fuck_. 

“Yes, very. I’ll ...see you there. Then.” She was giddy and of course she was and Timmy instantly hated her. He didn’t need to look to Armie to know he was smiling like a big fool.

When she left he just turned to him without any preamble.

“Really? Her?”

He moved then to pack up his backpack - yes he still used a backpack, Timmy hated that he found it fucking adorable. He hated him at that moment.

“Not that it’s any of your business but yes. She’s nice.”

“She’s horrific.”

“Timmy -”

“And -”

“No. Enough.” He used his teacher's voice on him and while his heart was breaking his dick was definitely not broken. Damnit. “Whatever this is, or … what you think it is or you think you want, you don’t okay? It’s just -”

“Don’t say a crush, I'm not twelve.”

“No but you’re seventeen and that’s basically -”

“It’s not the same! I’m eighteen in two months!”

Armie rolled his eyes then, before pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand. 

“I cannot be having this conversation. So we’re not, having it.” He was flustered, Timmy loved it.

“It?”

“The con - Ok just go okay? Have a nice, normal weekend and just try and forget about this okay?” He offered.

It was his turn to roll his eyes then. 

“Fine. Sorry for your complete lack of taste, I guess.”

************

He left school that afternoon angry at the world, he lived walking distance away, so boarding was only for convenience really. Yes, he was a townie compared to the other kids, but he had a scholarship and it meant less stress on his mother during the week. She was a night nurse, so he rarely saw her anyway, boarding made sense. She didn’t have to worry about him, and he it saved them money in the long run. On weekends though, he’d head home and they'd have dinner together when her schedule lined up, and she always tried to make it so. Then he’d head to the restaurant, and do a double shift from seven til close, had done since he was sixteen, for extra money for after graduation. 

“Timoteee my boy, busy night ahead, busy busy!” Luca exclaimed as always, happy to be busy. Though they were always busy, they were the best and only one of two restaurants in the whole town. So it worked out well for them. He washed his hands and put on his apron over his black pants and white shirt. And for about an hour things were going well, his tables were starting to fill up and the takeaway orders were coming thick and fast. 

And then it happened. 

“You have got to be shitting me.” he whispered to himself, but Luca looked up from the register. 

Looking to where Tim was looking.

“Who is that?”

Timmy sighed.

“That is my teacher, and well, my other teacher.” He most likely let all emotions walk across his face because Luca went from nosy, to concerned.

“And this is bad for you?”

“Kinda.”

“Which is the one that is bad for you?”

Timmy smiled then. Shrugging.

“Ah. The handsome one, good taste.”

“He doesn’t think so.”

“Go ask them if they want drinks.” he offered handing him two menus. 

“Can’t Carrie take thi -”

“No.” he dismissed without looking at him. Tim just sighed and put on his customer service face as he approached them. 

“Hi Welcome to Lucas -”

“Timmy -” Armie - mid conversation spoke, his eyes wide. “What -”

“Hi I work here. Hi.” he nodded to her, handing them both their menus. “Our specials are -”

Before he finished Miss Date Night began to ramble in Italian. He forced himself to not roll his eyes. She was obviously trying to impress Armie. 

“Oh - “ Armie began but she kept going pointing her menu on what she wanted, Timmy knew the menu like the back of his hand so she could have rambled in Chinese and he would have understood - even if his Italian was basic from her class, but because he’d worked with Luca and his husband for two years, he wasn’t as shabby as she taught. He smiled, and answered her perfectly, to her obvious surprise. 

“And you?” he turned to Armie who looked plain uncomfortable in his stupidly handsome tweed jacket on top of a crisp white shirt and tan pants. Timmy really hated that he could smell how good he smelled from where he stood.

“What would you rec -”

“No no you want to try this, trust me it’s amazing!” She butted in, pointing to a dish that was only so-so. He could have recommended Luca’s favourites, but no. Apparently Armie was chill with obnoxious women. 

“That sounds great. I’ll have that, thank you.” he attempted a smile but his discomfort was written all over his face. 

“Any drinks to start things off?” Timmy offered, taking their menus back. And before she had a chance to speak he spoke up.

“No just a coke for me thanks, I’m driving.” She looked annoyed but shrugged. 

“Water is fine.” 

Offering his best fake customer service smile he nodded and walked off. Praying that one of the other staff would take the table. 

They didn’t. 

He spent the next hour not - not watching them from the side of his eye, not not noticing Armie notice him as he did his rounds at other tables in the section. Absolutely not noticing how uncomfortable he looked either. Except he did, and it was killing him. When he served them Armie was nice, she was rude, her dish needed additions twice, while he just grimaced at her behaviour to both Timmy and the waitress that re-served her, Clara. It was a shit show to witness.

So he decided to intervene. 

Walking into the men;s room, he really tried very hard to not focus on the fact that Armie had his dick in his hand - he absolutely was not thinking about that, as he walked up to the urinal with an empty one in between. He might have been thirsty as fuck for this guy, but he wasn’t a creep. He did his thing while Armie finished, and thankfully went to wash his hands. He was sure that he was going to ignore Timmy completely. 

As Timmy moved to wash his hands, his moment was lost as another customer came in to pee. He could tell Armie was gearing up to have said something but instead moved to throw his paper towel in the bin as Timmy moved to wash his hands. Instead the older man just made his way out of the bathroom silently. 

Well that just would do. He had encouraged him to use his words, after all. 

***

“Excuse me, Mr Hammer you have a phone call.”

Armie looked up, confused. She looked even more so.

“A ...phone call?”

“Yes.” Timmy replied, curt.

“But … no one knows I’m here?” 

An awkward laugh, but he kept his customer service voice on.

“Well, Sir, someone surely must. Follow me.” Timmy smiled before moving. 

He could sense his confusion as he did indeed follow him to the back, the side of the register out of view from the tables. 

“You really should tell people when you go on dates where you’re going, you know? She could be a real life serial killer and then where would you be.”

Armie sighed, realising there was in fact no fucking phone call. Timmy didn’t care. 

“There’s no call, is there?” he crossed his arms.

“What? No! Of course not, it’s 2019, who the fuck calls a restaurant anymore? Look -” 

“Tim, listen to me, okay, this … concern is very …” he sighed again before closing his eyes, Timmy still didn’t care, he was an inch from his face, and it was beyond unfair how good he smelled. He smelled expensive, more expensive than his paycheck that’s for sure. “Sweet… But I’m having a nice time -”

“Really? Doesn’t look like it from where I’m standing.”

He rolled his eyes then.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t be standing around watching people eat, it’s not polite.” 

“I’m not watching you eat, I’m watching her talk AT you like she does the rest of us, and I watched her talk you out of the Gnocchi, the monster, it’s our best dish.”

Armie smiled then, even though it looked like he was trying his best not to.

“Please, let it be…. okay? I appreciate you looking out for me, I do, but there’s no need.”

As he moved to leave, Timmy took it a step further,and gently reached for his arm.

“Look just don’t sleep with her okay, she doesn’t deserve it.”

Armie looked at where Timmy held on to him, then looked to Timmy, and for a split second fear ran down his spine, that he had taken it a step too far. Instead, the other man softly smiled. 

“Takes more than a plate of cold pasta to get me into bed, Tim, don’t worry about it.”

As he moved past him and back to his horrible date, Timmy couldn’t help but wonder what exactly it would take…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The delicate somewhat idiotic dance of having a crush on your teacher continues. But what if your teacher has a crush on you?  
> Banter, bad decisions, drunken confessions and neck kisses await!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome again ... to whatever this is! Unbeta'd because of course it is. Tell me what your favourite parts were! What did you hate?! Is this boring? Or not making any sense?! Any and all comments and concerns welcome!

**********

As they tiptoed into November and the weather changed around them once more, Timmy was finding it harder to concentrate on the big picture - distracted by his crush, and attempting to be all things to all people whilst dealing with real serious things like College, and real life auditions on top of school work and friends. In the couple of weeks after Date Gate as he called it, Armie kept things strictly professional between them, not that he hadn’t before - much to Timmy’s annoyance, but after, it was different. There were no more jibes, or debates in class,no more intense eye contact either; even during supervision for the play, he remained stoic and distracted by just about everyone else. 

It hurt. 

But he understood. 

So when he was called back after class one afternoon, he was surprised but not really.

“Tim wanna tell me what this is about?”

His last two ‘pop quiz’ results sat in front of him.

He shrugged, and Armie stood up from his desk.

“Your GPA tells me this should be a doddle for you and yet you’re turning in that? It’s insulting, Tim.”

“To who?”

“Me. _You_. The GPA you worked hard for.”

He had no answer.

“I guess the material just wasn’t speaking to me.”

Armie raised his brows. 

“Well.” he walked over to Tim’s desk. And slapped down two other pieces of paper. “Maybe they’ll be feeling more  _ chatty  _ now.”

“You’re kidding me…?”

“No. This is your one second chance, take them now or fail. And if you fail it brings down your average and -”

“Yeah I know.” he rolled his eyes. “Can I at least text my friends? Tell them I’ll be late?”

Armie nodded.

“I’m not unreasonable.”

Timmy begged to differ, but recognised what a solid Armie was doing him right then. He was distracted, that’s for sure, did he flop on purpose to get attention? Not that he would ever admit out loud… And he didn’t really want to bring down his GPA, not having worked so hard for it, not having to use it for the future. 

So he took his seat, and with a fair amount of sulking, retook his tests. And yeah, when he actually read the questions and gave a fuck, it wasn’t so difficult. But, much like the first go around he was distracted by his teacher, only this time Armie seemed hyper aware. Every time he’d look up, Armie, who was sitting at his desk marking more papers, would without looking up tell him to keep going. He was on a timer. 

It stalled any and all potentially awkward small talk, as much as his instinct was to ask Armie questions rather than focus on the one’s in front of him. But he did, and with time to spare, he shuffled out of his seat with his papers, and put them down in front of his teacher.

Armie looked up with a soft look on his face.

“Well?”

“Was fine, I think. Probably not an A… but.” he shrugged as Armie took them and gave them a glance. 

“Alright then, try and concentrate on the next test okay? Because there won’t be a next time for this? And if you fail they -”

“I know.” He’d lose the lead on the play if his GPA dropped. Those bitches were strict as hell.

“It’s not like any of this will matter in a year.” Timmy added, feeling tired, hungry and agitated now. 

“Why’s that?”

“I’m going to be an actor, I don’t need much beyond my graduation certificate. It’s not like I was applying to Harvard or Yale -”

“You aren’t going to college?”

He shrugged.

“I’ve applied, but I’ve also applied for real things - jobs, internships - things that pay me money rather than drain it from me.”

Armie leaned back in his chair then. Interested. 

Timmy absolutely did not think about what it would feel like to just crawl into his sizable lap and bury his face in that stunning neck.

Stunning neck? Christ, he really did have it bad for this guy.

“And before you say that it’s vital that I  _ do  _ go to college -”

“Who says I was going to say that?” he smirked. 

“You’re a teacher, that’s  _ all  _ you guys do.”

Armie quirked his eyebrows, “Not me, besides I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do after Highschool -”

“And yet you decided on a job that brought you  _ back  _ to Highschool _forever_?” Timmy countered and it made Armie laugh. He officially loved that sound. Wanted to make it happen always.

“Well, you’ve got a point. But no, I think it’s normal to think of forging your own path, particularly in an arts environment, some are going on to college for writing, or production, but I think with acting, it’s all about rehearsal right? As I’ve learned the hard way this past few weeks -” he ran his hand through his hair, and oh how I wanted to do that. While sitting on his giant lap. 

“You’re doing great though, honestly. Everyone loves you.”  _ I love you.  _

Armie blushed. And oh no, it was cute.

“I’m out of my depth. But ...thank you. It … the production I mean, it looks amazing, and you’re all putting in so much work and heart … it’s a nice thing to see, honestly.”

“Tell that to the scouts who come every year, or the sneaky producers.”

“Did anyone ever get their big break here right out the gate?” he asked, genuinely interested, and Timmy thought about it, as he shifted from foot to foot. 

“No, but there’s a first time for everything.” He beamed and Armie smiled again. 

“Ah, the confidence of youth.”

“Oh shut up, grandpa you’re like six years older than me.” Timmy laughed and Armie rolled his eyes, before checking his watch. Standing from his desk, to start packing his bag. 

“Seven.”

“I’m eighteen in December -”

“Oh God,  _ a Capricorn _ .” Armie teased as he slung his bag over his shoulder. 

“What’s wrong with -”

“Later, Tim, I gotta go.” he dismissed playfully. 

“Another hot date with -”

“Go  _ home _ , Timothee.” he interrupted, and he was out the door. Leaving Timmy happily reeling, all from a simple conversation. He was floating. 

*****

  
  


As the weeks went on this vibe continued, just two guys talking about shit from time to time when Timmy caught him by himself, or after rehearsals, after he would happily dismiss everyone with a glowing ‘great job’, and give notes to the various performers on what he thought of the newest additions. Timmy wasn’t lying when he said that everyone loved him, they did, because again, he treated them like peers and not annoying underlings like the other teaching crew did by default. He really was the ‘cool new substitute’ in so many ways.

And he was hot.

That also helped. 

“I heard he’s divorced.”

“No no, I heard he’s gay.”

“Well I heard he’s a robot.” Timmy pipped in after their last rehearsal before the big show, Mattie and Anna, who were totally doing it, by the way, gossiping about Armie in not hushed enough tones.

“Hey Tim, he seems to like you, solve the mystery for us? Divorced, or Gay?”

Tim laughed as he passed them by on his way home for the weekend. Not at all taking notice that other people have maybe noticed that Armie likes him.

“Why not both?”

Truth was he had no idea if he had been married, their conversations didn’t get that personal, yet. He was sure though that he wasn’t straight, and if his crush-dar was correct, maybe he liked Timmy - like him like he liked Armie.

Or, he was delusional. That was also a contender.

Because he was always so very nice, and polite, but as soon as things got too close, too flirty … he backed away. He would take it right to the edge of something, and then back down, as if remembering who and where he was. Timmy hated it, hated he could see the change in his face, his eyes when Armie came back down to earth and remembered he wasn't just talking to a guy, he was talking to a student. His voice changed, his stance too. It was an odd but fascinating thing to witness.

A week before their play, before the beginning of the Holiday break, things were like they always were, chugging along, boring as ever. He had been studying in his dorm, but he realised once his phone died that he hadn’t picked up his charger from the pool lockers since the day before. Reluctantly, he pulled on some sweats and made his way through the grounds.

*******

He didn’t mean to stare, he really didn’t. But he did anyway. He had ventured down to the swimming pool, he’d left his extra charger in his swim bag and he’d left his swim bag in his locker. It was a Sunday, he didn't expect anyone to be there. Hell, he wasn’t even meant to be there, but, needs must. 

Armie was a really strong, fast swimmer. He took laps like it was nothing, just gliding under and up like it was where he belonged. 

As Tim shook himself out of his stare - because it would be super creepy and far too Swim Fan of him to get caught, but, he couldn’t help but wonder if Armie was a swim team guy in the past. He had the body for it, that’s for sure. A body Tim had thought about far too much in the previous weeks. 

He was neck-deep into his locker when he heard the padding of flip flops behind him and the hairs stood on the back of his neck with anticipation. 

“Oh.” he heard come softly from Armie, forcing him to turn around. 

He was standing there, tall as ever, soaking wet in a pair of rather thin red very short shorts. Timmy may have gulped as his mouth literally watered. 

“No one is - I …” he began awkwardly, toweling himself off. His hair slicked back and oh, my, God NOT NOW BONER!

“Hi. I -” Timmy held up his charger. “Needed this.”

“I didn’t know anyone would be here.” they both said in unison, making them both laugh in tandem too. Timmy just rolled his eyes.

“Of course you’re a swimmer.” he said, turning to lock his locker. 

“The hell does that mean?” Armie asked, walking up to three lockers next to Timmy, into his eyeline, and oh, that ass. THERE WERE WATER DROPLETS.  _ IN PLACES. _

“Just that... you look like that,” he gave him the once over and was not at all subtle about it. Was he subtle about anything when it came to him? “So, obviously you were a star athlete or something.”

“You got something against athletes?” 

“No. I’m sure you were one of the nice ones…”

Armie laughed, still toweling, as he reached in and grabbed a larger towel, and sadly, wrapped it around his waist. 

“I was taller than everyone in my class from the time I was fifteen I guess? Before that it wasn’t … easy. After… even less so.”

That got Timmy’s attention as he leaned against his locker. Really trying not to be distracted by the pattern of his chest hair.

“Swim Team was … a good option. Kept me busy, and was the one place in the school that I … had a place. It wasn’t like here, where you all share this … passion for something. So yeah I was a jock but it beat the alternative, which was being a joke.”

Timmy hated the sadness in his voice, “I’m sorry you went through that…”

Armie shrugged, as she sadly yanked on a blue t-shirt, slipped off his wet drunks under his towel, and pulled on some navy basketball shorts, all from his neatly stacked locker, in rapid movement. When he pulled the wet towel around his waist away, Timmy almost whined in disappointment.

“Were you good?” Timmy asked instead, which got him a look from Armie that basically got him semi hard. Cocky, self assured, and soaking wet.

“I was the best.” 

“Now that I can believe. You were taking those lanes like your life depended on it.”

“You watched me swim?” He asked, pushing his feet into his sneakers.

Timmy shrugged again, how much did he admit? He was feeling bold, and horny, and it made things blurry and dumb. And so …

“It’s a hobby.”

Armie laughed before rolling his eyes.

“I’ve noticed.”

“You’ve noticed me ...noticing you?”

“In ways I don’t think you realise -”

“No I so realise. I’m not subtle.” Timmy smiled then hoping to keep it light, but not sure he was succeeding.

“No, you’re definitely not.” 

_ Go Bold, or Go Home. _

“I like you…”

_ He should have gone home. _

Armie eyeballed him then. His eyebrows scrunched.

“I really like you … and not just in -” Tim attempted.

“Stop.” he ordered with a whisper, so calm. 

“But -”

“No. You can’t …” he shook his head grabbing his backpack. “Finish that sentence.” 

“Why?” Timmy whispered, and looked around. 

“You know why… Don’t make this … If I’ve _done_ something -”

“You haven’t -”

“Good, fine, great … let’s just keep it at  _ that  _ hm?”

“No one would know... If you -”

“If I what? Tim?” the calm he could see was slowly falling from his facade, if he wasn’t mistaken there was a slight pinkness to his neck that hadn’t been there a second before.

At that Tim threw all he had at whatever this turn in the conversation was that he had taken. He stepped forward into Armie’s personal space, and put his hands softly on Armie’s forearms... the other man inhaled, shocked almost that he did.

“If you liked me back… no would know, I wouldn’t tell anyone - I -” 

Armie closed his eyes and for just one second of a second, Timmy thought about standing on his tip toes and kissing those confused lips. He didn’t get a chance though.

Armie stepped forward and by the sheer force of him, Timmy stepped back, and back and back until his back landed against the cold tile of the changing room.

Armie’s hands on him, pointedly, but still so damn  _ gentle  _ that it killed Timmy.

Backed up against the cold tile, he couldn’t breathe in the best way possible, and the coiling of lust and a little fear mixed in with complete disbelief as he kept his eyes on the other man. As he held him up against the tile without so much of a strain, a strong arm pinning him in place, firm but gentle - the look in the other man’s eyes however, less gentle. Their breaths mixed in a way that made Tim tingle all over. He had baited the other man to this point, he knew he had, deliberately, he wanted this, my  _ God  _ he wanted this and so much more thereafter. But, there was a type of anger in the other man’s eyes, that he  _ hadn’t _ fully fantasied about. 

“Trust me when I tell you, you couldn’t even handle it.” he all but bit, slowly, pointedly, as he loosened the grip holding him in place, stepping back, the anger - the flash of red, now gone from his eyes. Replaced with something else, something Timmy  _ hated  _ to witness. 

“Now go,  _ please  _ .”

In the days that followed, after their tense encounter, Timmy would fly through an array of emotions - shame, embarrassment, humiliation, stupidity, grief… avoiding his teacher’s gaze as much as Armie avoided his - until the day of the play, when his stunningly handsome crush turned up backstage to speak to the cast and crew, thanked them all for their trust in him, their patience as he learned the ropes. And wished them all well. When the older of the two attempted to make eye contact with Timmy then, as he put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed. Wishing him luck, telling him to remember to not be so tense out there, much to the amusement of the others - it was casual, it was innocent, but Timmy all but shrugged him off. He watched the other man’s face fall, but quickly saved it with a weak, fake smile.

It was then he realised watching him walk to take his seat. That in the hundreds of times he replayed their conversation around in his head. 

Armie never denied that he liked him back. Not once.

_ Damn _ .

****

Was it a dumb idea? Sure it was, but he was pretty sure the entire bottle of vodka was also not his best idea of the night, so really what was another bad idea? 

Getting his one sober friend to drop him off, feigning that he was staying with his Aunt - there was no aunt, and walking the block and half to Armie’s place, well, the bad choices just kept adding up. He knew where he lived because being only one of two restaurants in town helped get to know where everyone lived, for delivery. And it was how he knew Armie was back, from wherever he had spent Christmas Break.

“I’m a creep now this is who I am.” he mumbled to himself as the little house came into view. He tripped on the sidewalk and apologised, before knocking on the navy blue front door. There were lights on, it looked cosy and cute from the double vision the alcohol was providing Timmy. 

It seemed like eighty four years before someone came to the door, but in reality it was probably less than a minute. 

When he opened the door, all handsome and shit, Timmy might have sighed. He can’t be sure though. He probably did.

“Tim? What the hell?” he asked, concerned, looking around for other people. Nope. Just him. Sorry big guy. 

“What are you - Are you drunk?”

He may have been swaying, who can tell for sure. 

“A little... Hi.” 

His concerned face softened, “Tim come on man, what’s going on?”

“I missed you.” He admitted softly. Maybe still swaying. Armie opened his mouth to say something but before he could - and why did that keep happening?!! Another man entered the frame of the doorway. 

“Should I add the garlic now - or - oh _hellooo_.” he spoke a little louder on seeing Timmy, his eyes widening for a second before looking at Armie. “Who is thiiis?”

“This is Timmy.”

“Ugh God, you’re on a date -  _ again _ .” Timmy mumbled.

“Well, hello Timmy…” his eyebrow quirk moved to Armie, who just sighed. Timmy had no idea what was going on. 

“Tim, will you excuse me for just one minute?” Armie asked.

He didn’t have time to answer before Armie yanked the other - handsome dark haired - magenta jean wearing man behind the door. Unaware Timmy could still hear him.

“ _ Armand _ why is there a very adorable drunk twink at your door at eleven thirty at night?”

“I don’t know okay -”

“You don’t  _ know _ ?”

“I mean, I know -”

“Oh my GOD are you -”

“Shut upppp, and  _ NO _ . Of course not.”

“Why? He’s cute as hell.”

“Stop okay, look I need to take care of this.”

“Yes you _do_.”

“Seriously. Stop.”

The other man laughed before they opened the door fully again, and honestly it was only because the ground was moving that Timmy didn’t make a run for it. 

What was he doooing? Armie was clearly not missing HIM!

“Tim, sorry this is Henry. Henry this is Tim.” 

“So nice to meet you.” 

Tim just nodded, was it? 

“I’m going to go stir the pot in the kitchen now … bye.” he added, making eyebrow raises at Armie who just looked exacerbated. 

“Yeah you’re REALLY good at that.”

The other man just laughed his way inside Armie’s house.

“Look - I should go …” Timmy motioned, before stepping back. “This was … I don’t know what this was but it was a bad bad idea.”

“Timmy you live like four miles for here, you can’t walk four miles in the rain, just come inside okay?”

“You’re on date and I can’t witness  _ that  _ again and not with someone that cute.”

Armie smiled then, both of them getting wetter from the damn drizzling rain.

“He … it’s not a date okay? He’s a friend from College.”

“I know what friends  _ do  _ in college…” Timmy mumbled and Armie just laughed. 

“Look, come inside and get dry, then I’m taking you home.”

He was being guided inside before he could protest, and sure enough it was as cosy inside as it looked from outside. A large tan sofa, a tan rug on the dark wooden floor, a huge tv and several game consoles decorated his living room. A large lamp lit the room, but it was the roaring fireplace that had Timmy sleepy where he sat. The twinkles from the Christmas tree in the corner just made it all the more sweet.

Having explained how he got there, Armie reappeared from the kitchen with a large black sweater and a bottle of water.

“Here, change into this okay? And drink this.” 

“I’m sorry -” he kept saying even though Armie told him to stop, that it was no problem, that he just had to get him home and it would all be okay. His friend never made another appearance, Timmy guessed it was on Armie’s orders.

Armie, stupidly respectfully left the room while he shook off his drenched shirt and slipped into the far too big for him sweater. It was so soft and warm he really did just want to curl up and sleep. But before he knew it, Armie had his coat on and his keys in his hand.

“Ready?”

No.

“Yeah, thanks.”

He grew silent as they got into the car, and stayed that way until they were on the road. Hyper aware of Armie concentrating on the road.

“What made you come all the way out here?”

“I told you why.”

Armie nodded, still focusing on the road.

“I mean, it’s my birthday you know? And I don’t know… I was with friends and we were partying at Dell’s and it was great … But -”

“It’s your birthday?” he looked at Timmy then and Timmy just nodded, he felt pathetic. 

But Armie smiled that stupid soft smile that he loved.

“Happy Birthday.”

“Thanks.” He responded, glibly. 

“Aw come on, it’s not that bad right?”

“I showed up to your house and you babied me and are now driving me home -” he huffed looking out the window.

“I didn’t  _ baby  _ you, you were shivering in a shirt in December, Tim. I was using common sense, you know, so you can see  _ nineteen _ .”

Timmy still rolled his eyes.

“Still not exactly how I saw it playing out.”

That made Armie laugh. “I don’t wanna know.”

Timmy sighed then, and when the car jolted over a speed bump, he felt sick.

“Oh god, please pull over I’m -”

“PLEASE don’t throw up in my car!” he all but panicked back at him as he pulled in hard to the side of the road, split second on time as Timmy just opened the door and threw up. 

Fuck.

He heard Armie’s seat belt click open and a large cold hand was on his neck. 

“You okay? God… Tim how much did you drink?”

“Many…” was all he could manage before sitting back in the seat, his head back, his eyes closed. Armie felt his forehead, his cold hand welcome though. But he was Babying him  _ again _ . He wanted to cry, but he wouldn’t because that would just cement his childish behaviour and he’d done enough of that.

“Jesus…here, drink your water okay?” Armie’s hand was now on his cheek for just a second before it fell away.

He opened his eyes to the water being held out for him, he took it gladly, if only to wash away the taste in his mouth.

They sat silently at the side of the empty road for a little while. Nothing but the rain hitting the glass and the sound of the engine.

“Did you have a good Holiday break?” Armie attempted. 

“It was fine, we went to my grandparents in Manhattan, they always give the best gifts. You?” he asked through sips of the lovely, cold water.

“It was fine too. Went to some friends, then Henry came back with me, he wanted to see the little town he claimed was ‘out of a Stephen King novel’, stealing me away from my ‘circle’” he finger quoted with a smile. 

“Did you and he ever -”

“Nope.” he answered, then turning to look at him. “He really is just a friend. Just because he’s gay too doesn’t -”

“So you ARE gay. I knew I hadn’t read it completely wrong.”

It was Armie’s turn to roll his eyes then.

“I’m … not straight, you read that right.”

“Hence the dates with Miss Trunchbull.” 

Armie grimaced.

“It was only one date.”

“Because she’s  _ awful _ .” Timmy laughed then, seeing how he was trying to keep his face straight.

“Because she was really fucking awful… I mean I know you’re keen on hyperbolic statements, Timmy, but  _ fuuuck _ .”

He laughed again, he loved seeing this Armie. Free and funny and honest, and it felt good to make him laugh. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked not really caring anymore how sad he sounded, all malleable and soft, but his body thrumming. He felt like he was boneless. Well, all except in one area.

“No.” Armie whined, his hands on the wheel, his head joining them for a second in frustration.

“But I  _ want  _ to kiss you.” Timmy countered the whine, thrilling him that this was something that Armie was now willing to openly whine about

“I know that.”

“You wanna kiss me too.” Timmy stated, defiant, because he knew damn well...

Armie sighed softly in an air of defeat.

“Yeah, I know  _ that  _ too.”

Even though his body was feeling a hundred different emotions, all of them making him dizzy and a little nauseous again, he wanted to lean in and kiss him so badly, but the other man’s body was wound so tight, he feared if he did, he’d spring off into a thousand pieces.

“Why won’t you kiss me?” He didn’t whine then too, he absolutely didn’t.

When Armie - soft lit, rain drizzled, stupidly handsome Armie looked at him then it was almost his undoing.

“You know why, and I know why, we’re not as dumb as we’re acting right now. We both know what this can’t be, and why, and the fact that I am even  _ considering  _ it means I’ve lost whatever battle I was in with myself. Whether you or I like it or not, I’m the adult here -”

“I’m 18!”

“I don’t give a shit, and the law doesn’t either!”

“But I’m legal! I can VOTE! Sure I can’t drink, but I did  _ that  _ tonight too - it’s Europe somewhere!”

At that his pensive face broke into an almost smile.

“Just don’t, please? I’m taking you the rest of the way home, you’re going to stay there, and we’re not going to talk about this again. I feel guilt enough as it is -”

“They can’t arrest you for your  _ thoughts _ , Armie.” 

Armie just shook his head, and shifted the car into gear. They were both silent the rest of the drive. It took maybe five minutes - the longest of his life - to pull in front of Tim’s house. The porch lights on, the rest of the street in darkness. 

“I’m sorry I bothered you tonight, it was stupid.”

Armie tutted to himself, clicking off his seatbelt. 

“Don’t be like that, please? I don’t want things to be... tense between us again okay?”

“Well they are because _ I am _ ! Because I like you and I think ...you maybe like me too but you won’t admit it -”

“Can’t.”

“You -” that stopped Timmy mid-rant. “You can’t?”

“And we know why so it’s best to just not … not think about it.”

“Well that’s great if that’s working for you but it’s sure as hell isn’t working for me.”

Armie looked sad then. Gripping the steering wheel.

“It’s not working.” he murmured. 

“So you do like me then?”

Armie smirked trying not to smile.

“Yes. I do, against every single damn thing I know I should think right now, yes of  _ course  _ I do. But -”

“No, no buts, let’s just let it be enough that you like me.”

Armie nodded then, and leaned in and Timmy genuinely thought his heart stopped. 

But he didn’t aim for his mouth - not that he could blame him - instead his giant, stupidly attractive hand softly cupped his face - did Timmy moan at just that? Perhaps. But what came next almost made  _ him  _ follow. Instead of aiming for his mouth, Armie gently moved in and placed a kiss - open and hot - but for far too short a time - on his neck, his nose tilting up into Timmy’s hair. 

Fuck.

When he pulled back, Tim still had his eyes closed. Armie’s thumb on his chin forced him to open.

“Look at me.” he stated, and no, he wanted to melt instead.

But he did. And what he saw almost undid him. Armie’s bright blue eyes now blown black in the poorly lit car, but the lust was there and evident.

_ “Happy Birthday Timmy.” _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kisses and promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeeeah, I changed the rating and added a chapter ... or two. Because well, this is just who I am. I hope that's okay ;)  
> A shorter one than I had planned on posting but *SOME PEOPLE* got impatient, so here we are. If you read this whenever you read this tell me what you're thinking! I'll love it I swear :D 
> 
> Unbeta'd so much like Timmy's neck, be gentle with me.

The kissing was intense, indulgent and deliberately  _ dirty _ , Armie opening his mouth, pushing his tongue against Timmy’s to lick before another kiss took hold of them both. Any sweetness giving way to desire as Armie’s hand tightened around Timmy’s, and then there is no going back and it’s everything Timmy thought it would be, scorching and frantic and he wants everything, everything he can get. Blurry yet vivid, he felt every kiss, every lick and brush of skin against skin. He could feel his hands on every inch of Armie’s skin... It was real, it felt real. 

_ ‘Timmy _ ?” 

It was real? 

_ ‘Good morning sleepy head!’ _

With an abrupt and heartbreaking wake, he opened his eyes. Instinctively, looking to the door where his name was coming from.

“Mom?”

“It’s noon, my dear eighteen year old. I know you’re an ‘adult’ now so ...adults get up before lunch. Even on vacation.” she smiled, half in half out of his room. “How does it feel to be a year older?” 

Messy. Wet.  _ Embarrassing _ . His sheets assumed he was twelve. 

“I … can help with breakfast.” he attempted groggily. 

She just smiled.

“ _Lunch_ will be ready in ten minutes.” And with that she was gone and he was left with the remains of his extremely vivid dreams. And one hell of a hangover.

_Fuck_.

  
  


The next week waiting for the new term to start was torture. He knew he could just go  _ see  _ Armie, and ask him why he did what he did, finally. Why he kissed him - not even a real kiss - no - a NECK kiss - which was, in Timmy’s opinion, hotter, but much more confusing than say, oh, a normal fucking kiss. Armie clearly  _ wanted  _ to kiss him, wanted to … lots of things with him, all the things that Timmy wanted too - and yet all he did that night was be a gentleman, be sweet, and told him to drink a glass of water before bed and Timmy, too stunned to banter back, actually listened and went and did just that, instead of shoving himself into the older man’s lap in that very sensible car of his. 

So when the time rolled around finally to get back to school, he was beyond excited - sure to see his friends, and for arguably his last full semester before graduation, but mostly? To see Armie face to beautiful face. He had spent most of the day trying to find him in the sea of students, between classes, but no dice. Not until the last period when he walked into his class with everyone else did he lay eyes on him and it took all his restraint to not beam at the man.

Armie to his credit, when he stopped blushing at the sight of Timmy - a thing Tim was sure he’d never ever tire of. He kept it professional, asking the class about their break, giving little to no detail of what  _ he  _ got up to, but hoping that they all had a good break and that it was time to crack on straight into their latest Shakespeare study. 

He looked good, he always did. But he looked fresh, in that first day back at school kinda of way. He was in a pair of well fitted black pants and a crisp white shirt tucked in. On anyone else Timmy wagered they’d look like a waiter, but not Armie. With the top few buttons undone, the hint of chest hair, it was all very distracting. Timmy realised mid-class he was avoiding making eye contact with Timmy because Tim had spent the entire time trying to get his attention. Not that he could figure out why. It’s not like Tim was sitting as lax and as spread as possible, it wasn’t that he was attempting to eye fuck the guy from one row back. Not at all. He just wanted him to notice him, was that so bad? 

Apparently for a very Teacher Mode Armie, it was. 

He was busy, and dorkishly beautiful as he waxed poetic on the major themes of Othello. Love, Jealousy, Misunderstanding, and most of the class - for theater nerds of course - had done a read through of ‘O’ more than once, so this section of class would be a doddle for most. Still didn’t make grasping the language hills and valleys any easier as an American though. But, he found that he had an excuse to get Armie to look at him, a mere five minutes before the bell was due.

So he raised his hand.

“Yes … Tim.” Armie called on him and he smiled.

“Yeah, I mean the themes are obviously all of what we’ve been discussing, but it was written was it not, for theater?”

Armie shrugged, edging his ass on the outside of his desk like he so often did, to listen to students talk. Legs crossed, hands on the desk, he was delicious. 

“But theater is based on action, so, at least in my opinion, it’s not just what they’re saying but what they’re doing - how they act when they are reacting to the themes - love, honour, revenge… Take Destimona for example she knows what she wants, and her passion is her guiding light, even if it then leads her to her death.”

“SPOILER!” Dan yelled out, to much laughter, but Timmy wasn’t breaking the attention he had now. 

“She knows what she wants, and she goes for it right away, but Othello, he’s different, he’s methodical. Too much head -”

The class sniggered and Armie too almost smiled. 

“Not enough heart.”

“You think Othello didn’t have heart?” Armie asked, sounding offended.

“I think he took too long to act, let things get to him, let the voices get to him, when if he’d just focused on what was in front of him it would have been … maybe not such a shit show.”

The class laughed again and before he could continue the bell went. Usually, in every other class, that was relief, but here and now, and with the line of sight to Armie broken with a flurry of bags being packed, he found it was only painful. So he took his sweet time, in the hopes of being the last one out. He was, and he told his friends he’d meet them in the dorms, he had a question. They shrugged it off, and left without him. Leaving him with just a seated Armie, who was doing a really good job at acting nonchalant. 

Until Timmy closed the door of the classroom. 

Armie looked to the door, and then looked to Timmy, and on the outside, he looked fine, cool even. But Timmy noticed his tell now, he scratched his ear, and his neck was turning pink. 

_ He was nervous.  _

Timmy made  _ him  _ nervous?

“You kissed me.” Tim stated, to the point as he walked closer to where Armie sat. Why bother beating around the bush, he’d waited long enough to say that outloud. 

“I did.” Armie answered, quietly.

“Why?” Another question he’d waited a week for.

“I wanted to. I thought … you wanted me to.” He looked uncertain then. And God how could he be uncertain about that? 

“I did, I do.” 

“Good… No I mean it’s -” he turned his chair around to face Timmy then, and ran his hands though his hair, inadvertently spreading his legs. “It’s not good though - I have spent the past week feeling sick -”

“Armie -”

“No, Tim. Not only did I do that, but …” he gestured to the classroom, “and you were drunk! I mean, Jesus what kind of person am I that would do -”

“Someone who knew I wanted you to -”

“You’re my -”

“So what?”

Armie huffed then, standing but Timmy gently put his hands on his shoulders and sat him back down, sliding one leg in between one of Armie’s. Armie looked up at him in shock. The tiny bit of courage Timmy still had, he took it and ran with it, placing his hand on Armie’s hand, which rested on his desk. 

“Please don’t think that you are hurting me or whatever it is that’s floating through your head right now, because you’re not. I  _ know  _ what I want.”

“You’re Desdemona, huh?” he smiled, looking at our hands, as I softly ran my fingers up and down the top of his hand, knowing that it tickled. 

“Hopefully without the shit series of events …” 

At that their hands moved and touched fingers to fingers, before clasping together, tentatively. 

“I’d really like a real kiss now, if you don’t mind.” Timmy asked and Armie laughed, big and joyful, before rolling his eyes and standing up, still not letting go of Tim’s hand. He was intimidatingly tall, but somehow not, all at once. He disarmed you with how he carried himself, and all that height and muscle that could be so easily aggressive. 

Armie’s free hand took Tim’s chin, tilting it up just a touch - while every nerve in Tim’s body came to life. 

It was happening! 

But before he could lean up, that half an inch, the sound of heels clattering on the wooden hallway outside the classroom forced them both to insticitvely step back from each other, just in time for the fucking Principle to walk in.

“Oh, there you are - Oh, hello Timothee.” Mrs Jacobs, the head of the school - the impeccably dressed, late fifties, ex Miss Carolina, apparently, politely acknowledged Timmy before she asked him to leave. 

Timmy looked at Armie, who had his professional stance back, arms crossed, face relaxed, neck red so Timmy knew he was dying inside probably as much as he was. 

“Uh… sure thing Mrs J. Um… thanks?” he nodded to Armie who just nodded back.

“No problem.”

Mrs J smiled at Timmy again, as he slipped his backpack on one shoulder and sadly, so, so sadly, made his way out of the classroom. 

Half hard, half heart broken. 

Down but not defeated, he decided that he had waited long enough and now that Armie was finally opening up to him, he was going to get what he wanted, and that was a damn proper kiss.

Feeling very much like he was out straight out of a Jane Austen novel, he circled back around the corridor that led the whole way around the east side of the building, it took less than three minutes, and he saw next to no one until he had made his way back toward the English classroom, that sat next to the teachers locker room, he waited inside that doorway, and watched until he saw Mrs J take her leave. Thankfully, she made her way back up toward the teachers lounge, leaving Timmy free to make his move. 

Walking right back into the classroom, and surprising Armie where he stood.

“Timmy, Jesus that was -” 

Not giving him a chance to finish, he simply walked up, stood a little on his tippy toes, and kissed his guy like he’d been wanting to do for months. Armie took his chin in hand again, steering them into it, and it was better than the dream, of course it was. Warm and comforting and thrilling all at once. 

Stunned, it was about the reaction he felt from Armie, for all of a second and a half, before Armie wrapped his arms around his waist, and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss - the head spinning, tongue slipping, toes tingling kiss that it was. Timmy had never kissed anyone like this, or had ever been kissed like this. It was so confident, so controlled but not. It would take him a decade to put it properly into words, if he could ever try to. 

Pulling back because breathing was still a thing, Armie once again looked stunned, but with more hooded eyes and a smile forming on his lips, as he touched them.

“That was -”

“Yeah, good talk. See you tomorrow.” Timmy stated, not really sure where any of this was coming from, he was not smooth, he was not  _ this  _ good of a kisser, and he was not as confident as he appeared when he just flat out walked back out the door as fast as he walked in. But, he knew if he didn’t he’d crumble. He all but floated back to his dorm, the smile never leaving his face.

*******

“You have a whole ass house.”

“I have a whole ass house guest too -”

“Henry is STILL there?”

Armie laughed, squeezing his hands with Tim’s. 

“No, my cousin, she came after New Years, she’s here from Paris.”

“Fancy.”

“Not really, she left her French husband and is also the black sheep of her side of the family, so she’s hiding out.”

Damn.

“All day?” 

He nodded.

“She's’ a neat freak too, it’s getting really annoying really fast.” he divulged, before leaning in for another of his now famous (in Timmys mind) neck kisses. They were tucked in between buildings, from the pool and the main building - no windows, no people, and five minutes meant a lot of kisses. This had been their way for a whole week, stolen kisses in stolen places, the fear of getting caught, a thing that Timmy never knew would turn him on, and frankly, turn Armie green with fear. But Timmy was impatient, and wanted more, wanted  _ it all, _ and it seemed the universe had it out for him. Because there was one cockblocking situation, after another. Including the letter he had just gotten in the mail. 

“Well, you’ve got a car…”

“I do…” He kissed Timmy’s neck again and thoughts became difficult.

“A car that can be taken to other places… say out of town... other places, where no one knows us…” he leaned up and kissed a smiling Armie right though that smile. 

“You … wanna go parking?”

Timmy shrugged trying not to laugh.

“Perks of dating a teenager?” 

At that Armie cringed, the sore spot, the fear spot more like, for him. It made Timmy roll his eyes and kissed him again. In an attempt to put his mind elsewhere.

“Is that what we’re doing? Dating?”

Then it was Tim’s turn to cringe. Had he taken it too far too fast? 

Though, in his mind it had been simmering since October, so really, fast it was NOT.

“Or ...whatever.” he attempted at casual, making Armie squeeze his hands again affectionately. Tim absolutely loved how  _ big  _ he was all over, how completely sheltered he made him feel. 

“I do want to date you, properly you know? Like the whole nine, dress up and go out … go to the movies ...do all that regular shit.”

At that Timmy knew what Armie referred to as his ‘heart eyes’ were back, because Armie blushed.

“Making out slash Rated 15s _ quality time _ together in that very sensible car of yours -”

“Stop dissing my baby, I drove her from  _ California _ .”

“Yeah, it  _ shows _ .”

At that Timmy got a shove with a smile.

“Ass.”

“Yes.” he agreed before grabbing Armie’s ass and giving it a squeeze. Before Armie’s watch started to beep. 

“I got -” 

“Yeah. Same.” 

Both of them simultaneously fixing themselves up, before Tim asked if he was good, to which Armie assured him he was, before looking out for anyone nearby - of which there was no one, thankfully - so he stepped out first. The bright sunlight that had been blocked by the position of the two buildings shone on him then, and Timmy was in love.

“Saturday okay for you? I can pick you up at your place?”

Timmy hadn’t thought he would follow through, that it would just be stolen moments between classes from the get go, so he was more than pleasantly surprised. 

“Sure.” he attempted to play nonchalantly, but inside he was buzzing. 

The weekend couldn’t come fast enough, he only hoped that if  _ he  _ did, it wouldn’t be as speedy!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riding in cars with boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure a lot of this I wrote on The Wine, so you knooow, be gentle with me! How are we all coping with our housebound realities? Better than Armie? Worse than Liz? lol. Either way, enjoy if you're reading this, whenever you read this and let me know in the comments what you think! That shit is like oxygen to a writer and their ever changing plot lines! <3

After a fitful sleep on the Friday night, what would he wear, where would they go? What would they do? Or not do? Timmy woke up far too early in his own bed at home - the perks of only boarding on weekdays at school, and sprinted to the shower, using all ‘expensive’ skincare items - meaning everything in there that belonged to his mom, before attempting to make a big breakfast for him and his mom. 

“You’re up before the sunset, I’m shocked.” His mom sassed as she entered the kitchen, he just smiled and handed her an already just poured cup of coffee. She looked impressed. 

“Coffee, bacon and eggs… and is that French Toast?” she looked into the plates he was putting the finishing touches to.

“Yep.”

“Okay, what did you do…” she sounded skeptical. 

Which … _fair_.

“Nothing I promise,” he attempted innocently. 

“But…?”

She knew him too well. And so, he went on to explain how he really wanted to go visit his uncle with her that day, as they had agreed but that something had come up at school - the play - he lied - for the last showcase, it was important they got it right. Never mind that it was only approaching February, that didn’t seem to factor in. For the most part, she believed him and they managed a good lie-free breakfast after that. She left with a hug and a kiss to his cheek and a seemingly knowing ‘have a good day’, though that could have just been Timmy’s guilt picking up on a little too much. He checked his outfit for the fifth time, considered changing into sweatpants - easy access and all, but also thought against it, he wanted to look nice for ...whatever this was. But he kept it casual, in his ‘best’ jeans and a simple black sweater, he added some jewellery too because he was feelin’ fancy. Just one middle chunk sized necklace. And then he fiddled with his hair, again, and again, before the text came that he was outside.

He grabbed his coat and came out the side door, which he guessed Armie wasn’t expecting, because he caught him checking his hair in his mirror. It was a good feeling to know he wasn’t the only one that was a little nervous at this new adventure. He got into the car with a quick mutual ‘Hey’. Both smiling at the other. Before Armie complimented him on how nice he looked, and of course Timmy reciprocated - because he did - as always - this time in a cream coloured cable knit that looked as soft and snuggable as he did, in dark tan pants, work boots and with his hair doing a sort of wind swept swoopy thing that made Timmy wanna swoon. They took off in relative silence, small talk here and there - about Tim’s mom, about Armie’s weekend, and then Timmy turned to the radio.

“You have shit taste in music, I gotta say.” he lied, wanting to get a rise out of Armie. Who instead, just tutted, rolled his eyes, and slapped Timmy’s hand away from the dial.

“My car, my rules.”

“Psh.” Timmy attempted again, but failed, Armie slapped his hand away, only this time he grabbed it, and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of Timmy’s hand sweetly, before holding it in between them. Timmy didn’t fuck with the radio after that, content enough to just ...be hand holding on a drive with his … whatever Armie was. To wherever they were going, to make out for as long as they could, in peace. 

Except it became clear as they reached the second town over that, that wasn’t all Armie had in mind.

“Uh Armie, this is main street, not as secluded as we discussed…” 

Armie smiled but said nothing, pulling into a parking spot, outside a cosy looking coffee shop. All lit up with Edison bulbs and Hipster decor. 

“You like coffee right? This is the best in any town I’ve found. We should have some.” He nodded, before hopping out of the car, forcing Timmy to follow. Again, not to a makeout spot of any kind, because he knew for damn sure Armie wasn’t going to take a chance of necking him in public. But, he followed, and inside was pretty cool - no loud music, just a chill vibe, and a cosy booth seat by the window that they grabbed, each sliding into the one opposite each other. Both of them being tall, their knees touched. Timmy also liked that. 

A minute or so later a girl about Timmy’s age came over, noticing Armie first of course, because duh, then smiled, asking him and then eventually Timmy, what they wanted. Armie ordered his usual, and Tim ordered an iced caramel macchiato. 

“It’s January, Timmy.”

“You’re weak, cold brew is epic at all times of the year.” he sassed back, before Armie’s knee nudged him. 

“Oh and can I get a slice of that carrot cake?” he nodded to what was on display, and the girl nodded. Timmy didn’t know what he wanted and Armie stepped in.

“Try their cookies, they’re amazing.”

He agreed, and the girl made note and left. As she did though, Timmy looked around. This did feel very Armie in surroundings.

“You spend a lot of time here?” They had driven for over an hour and a half after all. Seemed weird.

“Yeah, well I mean … Don’t really know anyone where we are, and when I moved, I spent my off time just kinda, exploring I guess? A lot of hikes, and meeting random people.” Timmy nodded at that, it made sense, it also made him feel bad for Armie - starting over a in new place was never easy. The waitress came back with their order and they thanked her, and yeah the cake and the cookies looked amazing. Both heated with a little ice-cream on the side too. They tucked in at first, and made all the right noises and nodded at their food, and it was then that it sort of dawned on Timmy, foolishly.

“Armie?”

“Hm?”

“Is this a date?”

At that Armie’s neck started to pinken again, and God Timmy loved that tell more than anything.

The older guy attempted to play it off, by shrugging and finishing his bite of cake, before running his hands down his knees. 

“I mean … if you want it to be a date it can be, if you don’t then it’s not -”

“That’s a cop out answer.”

He rolled his eyes at Tim then, playfully before leaning in.

“Then yes, it’s as close to date as I can give you right now.”

If his heart skipped a beat that was his own business. Instead he just smiled back at Armie, trying to keep cool.

“Wasn’t the date I was expecting you to give me today.”

A chortle escaped Armie before he rolled his eyes. 

“I take it you aren’t dating anyone else right now …” the question lingered. He wasn't sure if he was joking. 

“No…  _ obviously _ ?”

“Not even Katie?”

Katie? What the hell? 

“W -”

“She likes you, she stares at you in class a lot…” he added, offhandedly.

Now that was interesting because to know that, he also would have to be staring. Timmy by passed it though in favour of getting to what he meant.

“What did you mean -”

“You’re horny as _fuck_ , Chalamet.” he whispered, making sure no one else eve batted an eyelid. 

“I’m - Hey!” he poked Armie’s hand playfully.

Armie rolled his eyes, more so at himself, before they both continued to whisper.

“Not that there’s anything  _ wrong  _ with it but … I’m … I wanna do this right? I mean  _ obviously  _ if I wanted to ...be right I wouldn’t be doing this at  _ all  _ but … I don’t … this isn’t just …” he was flustered now, and that was new. Timmy did what he could, and slid his hand under the table, closest to the window, to the wall, where no would could even see, and put his hand on Armie’s knee. Armie took a breath, and grasped his hand. 

“I know you do, this is … your concern for me is very sweet but you really -”

“I do. I don’t want you to be hurt by this … any of it.” 

“And what is this?” Timmy was brave enough to ask, because he was just as confused as Armie seemed. He thought it was a fling of sorts, they were obviously sexually attracted to each other, and Timmy really liked him as a person, and the more time he spent with him, the more he fell for him ,but he was also not stupid. This was dangerous, for both of them, but more so for Armie, and while Armie didn’t want to hurt Timmy, the feeling was very mutual. He didn’t want either of them suffering because they happened to be attracted to each other. 

Armie held up his hands then in the universal ‘I don’t fucking know’ shrug. 

“I like you, I know I shouldn’t like you. My brain can’t seem to … agree.”

“With your dick?” Timmy smirked, attempting to make things light again, of course his timing sucked and the waitress was next to them, asking if they wanted a refill as he said it. Her face was a picture. They politely refused, and when she walked away, Armie would be the one to let out the laugh he’d had failed to hold in.

“Look we don’t have to have everything figured out … this is fun right? I like you, you like me, and for now that’s enough. 

“I’m meant to be the older, wiser one here.” 

“Maybe one day.” he sassed sipping his drink.

“You’re a little shit.”

“A little shit that you liiike.” he widened his eyes and suppressed a laugh at Armie’s face. 

“Well, I can't argue with you there…” he sipped his coffee again, and the looks they exchanged filled Timmy’s heart, but also his dick, with pure joy. There was a look of lust on the other man's face that he was sure, or rather he hoped he mirrored, because  _ damn _ . 

After that their coffee’s and sweet treats were abandoned in favour of a large Timmy courtesy of Timmy ( “no, you paid, I tip, it’s only fair!” - and again Armie didn’t have it in him to argue,) the short walk to the car consisted of them bumping into one another intentionally, hands touching, grazing and stalling before they got to the car. Armie took a breath, and told Timmy to put on his seatbelt. 

The sun was just starting to set when they reached the destination that Timmy had assumed they would have gone straight to.

“I hiked up here about three months ago now? On a sunny day it’s really beautiful.” Timmy could see that, there was an expansive view in front of them but they were also so far out of town that he’d seen maybe two cars pass them on the way up there. It was eerily silent as the sun fell further and further out of view. Being mid- January it didn’t help that it was only around four pm. The view was beautiful, but he was in all honestly cock heavy and distracted by the guy next to him, and the possibilities of what was to come - pun intended. They had taken what they could get, stolen kisses in small spaces, and the feel of his fingers scraping though Timmy’s hair was now one of his favourite things - but now they were truly alone for the first time since admitting that this was ...whatever this was … between them. Timmy took Armie’s hand and did what Armie had done before to him, kissed it. Noting when Armie looked at him, that he was the one that looked nervous. So he kept on kissing, first his palm, then turning around and Jane Austen’ing another kiss on the top of his hand, then his fingers, one by one got kissed - the sharp intake of breath from the older man told Timmy that this wasn’t as lame as it sounded in his head, before he moved on to his wrist and kissed him there. Before he could move further, Armie’s throutherly kissed hand cups his cheek and pulls him in for a proper kiss. This one not rushed or panicked or listening for who might creep up between the buildings. No, this was slow, and exploratively delightful, and Timmy might have whined when Armie threaded his hands through his hair, grabbed on a little tighter, bringing him even closer, before letting his hand fall to Tim’s neck, holding him there steadily as they kissed. Timmy, it was all he could do, in the position he was in, to grasp the side of his seat, and it was no good, not at all. He wanted to be touching him, all of him while he had the chance. 

So when Timmy broke away their saliva creating a little snail-like trail between them for a split second, before he shifted, and got out of the car, the look of sheer shock on Armie’s face was almost comical.

But just like that, Timmy shed his jacket, and got into the backseat, stuffing it up on the back window, to obscure the view in, at least from one side.

“Well? You wanna make out or not?” He asked a still confused looking Armie before he too got a clue and changed seats. But instead of using the doors, he all but launched himself through the front seats, landing on Timmy, both of them then in kinks of laughter so hard at the image of this giant nerd, rocket launching himself through at tiny space. He attacked Timmy with peppered kisses then, pushing him back into the seat with a strength Timmy hadn’t felt til then. He was everywhere as he straddled Timmy, in all his glory, his hands on his cheeks pulling him closer for the most dizzingy kiss Timmy possibly ever had. While Timmy’s hand’s worked their way to Armie’s belt, opening it letting it fall to the sides of his pants, before starting in on the buttons, as Armie leaned in to kiss his neck, and God, suddenly it was hard to breathe in there. It was all he could do not to moan, but when he realised once again they were alone, and he could? He did, resulting in a tighter grip from Armie and a bite on his collarbone.

“Why the fuck,” Armie stated, between kisses, from one side of his neck, up his cheek, and to his mouth, “are you wearing jeans?”

“I’m dumb, I’m so fucking dumb, and also it was cold this morning.” He reasoned between kissing making Armie laugh, before he grinded again against him, then moving to push Armie down on the seat, he needed to be the one on top here, there was too much of Armie to take and breathe at the same time being underneath him in that stupidly small backseat. He managed to flip open the buttons of his jeans and drag them down to his ankles before he all but straddled his teacher. 

His brain going a thousand miles a minute considering he had thought about this moment hundreds of times in the past months. But now they were finally alone and seemingly on the same page. It, and Armie, felt really, really good. 

With Armie’s hands threading through his hair again, scraping his scalp in a way that made him shiver, he couldn’t help but to start to grind. And when he did, the breathless moans from the older man only spun him on further. More, it was all his brain knew he wanted. More. 

At some point he got distracted, and missed how Armie shimmied his pants down to his knees too, how he was then grinding boxers against boxers with very little left to the imagination. And Timmy’s imagination was wild. 

“Fuck, you’re beautiful….Fuck.”Armie all but murmered into his neck, Timmy realised he loved his neck and Timmy was happy to supply time there for his lips. Though then, he wanted his lips elsewhere, and decided to move things along. He grabbed the other man’s dick with confidence he didn’t know he had, and tried his best to not act in awe, or to salivate like his hormones so wanted him to. Because he was as big and as thick as the rest of him, and it was honestly making Tim’s head spin as he slowly jerked him off. Armie slammed his head back on the seat, his eyes closed, his mouth agape, all the dead poets in the world couldn’t write a more beautiful poem than what Timmy was witnessing just then. Armie might have thought Timmy beautiful, but to Timmy, Armie was Art. 

Art that Timmy wanted to taste. And so he shifted, and shimmed until he could reach what he wanted comfortably, peppering kisses down his neck, and on his chest - one hand hiking up his sweater that Tim so wished he’d shake off. Before his mouth landed his boxers.

Armie sucked in another breath before slowly moving his hand up and down his dick, something Timmy realised he wanted to watch sometimes in perfect lighting, and a good seat - not that in his lap wasn’t the best seat in any house... 

“Show me how you like it.” Timmy asked, and Armie’s eyes flashed open then, pulling him up for another kiss. 

“Don’t do anything you don’t want to - stop when you…” Timmy wouldn’t let him finish, instead, he replaced his hand on his dick, before rolling his eyes at the man. 

“I just want –  _ god. _ ” Timmy began to admit, breathlessly, slowly grinding down against Armie’s thigh. Both groaning as they get some much needed friction, before Timmy dipped once more, this time making sure nothing stopped him from tasting Armie’s lips. 

“I want - I …to - ” 

“I know, Tim, I know, C’mere it’s okay I got you -” 

What followed was something that seemed to Timmy to happen all too quickly and in slow motion all at once. He shimmied down, half on the floor of the car, to take Armie into his mouth - something he’d thought of doing since the moment he saw him. But the fantasy was nothing on the reality, the act itself enough to have Tim leaking in his boxers untouched. Not that Armie let him go untouched for long, a helping hand, slowly working him up as Timmy sucked him off, the noises - he was so fucking glad they were in the wilderness, so fucking glad to just let go of all he felt - how fucking good it felt to have this power over Armie now, to watch him crumble and come under his tongue. Watching him grip onto the car seat edge, or slip into Timmy’s hair and scrape his scalp in way that in itself was orgasmic though. He came with a warning, and Timmy wanted to impress, even if he gagged a time or two, because Jesus, this guy was huge! Which made Timmy a thousand times more nervous for sealing the deal, but in equal measure, more horny than he’d ever been in his life. 

That was until a spent Armie turned the tables on them, and had Timmy up on the back seat, spread out for his enjoyment. His jeans around his ankles, his boxers at his thighs, his head bashing against the door, ever so elegantly. But he couldn’t help it, Armie taking his dick, such confidence and ease - even if he was blushing like he’d ran a mile - it was all Tim could do to watch, to feel, and when he gently cupped his ass, before sliding a finger - well that was that. Coming without warning meant Armie took him all, and the sight of that was enough to almost make him hard again instantaneously. However, being pulled through his orgasm like getting dragged through a doorway of cotton candy, he couldn’t feel anything but tiny aftershocks of pleasure, and in that moment couldn’t have asked for anything else. 

Breathless, sated and with jelly like legs, he sat back before watching Armie lean into the front seat, and popping the drawer by the passenger seat, and taking out some wipes. 

He smirked at the older man as he went to task in cleaning them both up. 

“Were you a boy scout too?” he whispered, why now? He had no idea, but it felt right.

“Nope. I took a cross country drive in this thing, I ate a lot of takeout.” he smiled, wiping Timmy gently. “And I don’t like sticky fingers.” before planting a kiss on his cheek, and settling in next to him, as they both attempted to fix their pants, before settling down into what could be called a cuddle. Timmy, enveloped in the warmth of this man, was unlike anything else he’d ever experienced. 

“We don’t have to stop, you know?” he spoke whilst being cuddled closer to Armie’s chest. He made a ‘hm’ sound that he felt rather than heard.

“IS that right…?”

“Yes…”

“You in a rush?”

“No… but I’m also not not in a rush.”

“I’m failing you as a teacher, my god.” That made Timmy smile. Armie wasn’t a fan of double negatives, even thought Timmy caught him using them himself from time to time. He poked him instead. 

“I just mean. Like it’s not a big deal if we do -”

“Says who?”

At that Timmy looked up at him then, he looked amused.

“I say.”

“Oh, really?”

“I’m not a virgin Armie, it’s not -”

“You’ve been with other guys before?” Why did he sound surprised? Who was Timmy kidding? He knew why he sounded surprised, he decided to ignore it, putting his head back on his chest.

“Yes.”

“Really?”

Then he moved again, just to side eye the man. 

“Yes? That surprises you?”

“A little… though mostly because I was a guy to guy virgin until College... Who was he? Your first?”

“We’re having this conversation _now_?”

“Well, you brought it up…” 

True. Timmy sighed, but he saw something more than curiosity in Armie then. The notion that he would be jealous was insane, but also? Kinda cute.

“You don’t know him -”

“Oh does he go to school in Canada?” he bullshitted and it made Tim roll his eyes.

“Shut up,” Tim laughed, before launching into the story. “He was just this guy I met at this acting competition we used to go to every year. I’d met him the year before and we’d made out and stuff, but then, middle of Junior year…” Timmy shrugged. “It was fine.”

“Poor guy, to get a ‘fine’ rating.” Armie whistled then, as if pitying the guy. 

“Two kinda drunk seventeen year olds weren’t gonna have much ...finesse.”

That made Armie laugh then, cuddling him close again. 

“You’ve got plenty of that  _ now _ , I’m not gonna ask what changed in a year…” 

“I watched a shit ton of gay porn I guess.” 

Armie shook his head and kissed Timmy again, instantly making Timmy want to go into full make out mode. 

“So … we don’t have to stop.”

“We’re not having sex for the first time in the back of my shitty car, Tim. I make a crap ton of mistakes, but that isn’t gonna be one of them.”

He wanted to argue, he really did, but the truth was, things between them had been so pent up that oral was a huge step - as blasé as Timmy was attempting to be about it, and while his first - and only time (that he figured Armie also clued in) wasn’t great… maybe his second attempt should be a little … less tacky? Hm. He wasn’t so sure, he just wanted all of what Armie was willing to give him. But apparently then and there he wasn’t willing.

“It’s not a -”

“It is though, or it  _ should  _ be at least…” Armie sighed, moving them both then, to sit up. “Cramp.” he insisted, and yeah, Jesus, Timmy’s legs were numb. Armie caressed his face then. 

“You’re this amazing person dude, and I … Don’t … we don’t need to rush this okay?” 

Timmy nodded, oddly?Relieved that Armie didn’t want to just fuck and flee like his last attempt at a male romantic connection. But would he be the one to flee in this scenario? He figured he should come clean though, while they were alone, and in the spirit of full disclosure.

“I got accepted to the annual arts exchange in the city, it’s a three week workshop thing … there’s auditions, and meetings, and … I guess schmoozing? I don’t know, but they pick two students -”

“Timmy that’s fucking amazing!” Armie beamed, before he could even finish his confession. 

“But it’s three weeks and we’re just -”

“We’re just what? A phone call away? A face-time? Dude!” he nudged him, happily. “This is _fantastic_. The contacts you’ll make, hell it could even lead to actual real life jobs right?”

Timmy nodded, blushing then.

“Then what the fuck, zero hesitation. I know you’ll kill it.”

Timmy smiled then, really happy that Armie was like, beyond proud? Had that much faith in him when he had very little in himself. Before he could speak again, Armie leaned in to kiss him, but was rather rudely interrupted by the sound of his stomach launching into song, causing them both to burst out laughing. 

“Jesus I was expecting the scene from Alien right now, Armie.” for that he got a friendly nudge.

“Food, lots of it, to celebrate your good news!”

“And alcohol!” he attempted, as Armie moved with many a sore muscle groan, out the door. 

“No, I’ve already maybe committed a felony today, I don’t want to rack up anymore law issues before midnight.” 

“Ha ha, so funny, you should do stand up.” he mocked, exiting his side too to get back into the passenger seat.

“I want tacos.” 

Armie smiled in the dimly lit car, something so genuinely sweet about it. Timmy tried not to think about how difficult being gone might be, but it was only three weeks, and Armie was right, this WAS awesome.

“Tacos it is. Seat-belt please.”

He would worry about everything else later.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations and Realisations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! This wasn't meant to be posted tonight, but I added another chapter number on so it took the pressure off trying to make it all fit into this one, before an epilogue! Thank you all for the love on the last chapter, here and in DM! It means the world!! I hope you like this one too ;)

Seeing him in school for the first time after tasting his dick hit differently. Was he distracted? Yeah. Was he listening to anything Ashley was saying in the common room, once he saw Armie walk in, books in hand, to walk up the front to talk to Mr Andersen, also no. 

“Hello? Timmy?” She snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, before she looked to where he was looking.

“You’re not subtle you know.”

_ Panic!! _

“What?”

“I mean he is totally hot, but you ...are not subtle. I think he notices it too, but like half the junior class is thirsting after him as well, so like, you’re  _ not  _ special.” she laughed going on to tell that some of them even brought him gifts… and Timmy was proud he didn’t blush. But he did want to know more about these bitches moving in on his guy. 

Who wasn’t really his guy, but who also kinda was? Anyway, whatever he was, he wasn’t theirs. After class that first day, Tim did all he could to linger, to the point where he couldn’t think of a damn excuse, so he left with his classmates, only to make an excuse not to join them for food, and double back once more. Last class of the day always meant he knew Armie had some kind of grading or the like to finish before he peaced out home around six. 

“Hey.” he opened, very unoriginally. 

Armie looked up from his papers with a smile. 

“Well hey, I was wondering if I'd see you again. Looked like you were making Sophie’s Choice earlier packing up.” Timmy rolled his eyes at that, made his way inside the class having closed the door behind him. The look of surprise on Armie’s face when he walked up the desk and slid right in front of him, resting his ass on Armie’s papers.

“Make yourself at home, of course, not like the ink was still wet there or anything.” he quirked a brow, leaning back in his chair, giving Timmy enough room to be a tease.

“You okay?” He asked. And Timmy nodded, before leaning in and touching his neck. Armie tensed for a second, before looking at the door.

“This place is dead, trust me.” But Tim could feel Armie’s heart race under his fingertips, he moved to open the next two buttons on his shirt, revelling in the fuzzy chest hair as always. 

“Do anything fun this weekend?” Timmy asked, before making eye contact with a now blushing Armie. He loved this  _ power _ .

“Eh, you know… just hung out…”

Timmy smirked, flitting a glance at Armie’s pants.

“Yes, indeed you did.”

At that Armie grabbed him by the ass and helped him all but straddle him, much to Timmy’s surprise, at such a bold move. Before he could sass more though, Armie’s lips were on his in a kiss he had wanted from the time Armie had dropped him off at home, that previous Saturday. God, kissing him was the best thing, or maybe the second best thing, and once they had sex, who knew where kissing would rank, but for the most part, it was one of the best things. 

Breathless, Timmy pulled back, ignoring the weight of his own dick suddenly, and for sure ignoring how Armie’s hands on his body made him melt. He had questions damn it.

“So I hear I’m not the only one with a crush on you.”

Quizzical, Armie’s brows furrowed adorably.

“Ashley says  _ everyone  _ flirts with you - which - fine, but that also there’s something about  _ gifts _ ?”

Armie smiled again then, all teeth on full display, as Timmy sat his ass back on the desk again. Crossing his arms.

“Oh my god you’re jealous -”

“Yes?! Who are they and what  _ exactly  _ do they want?” Sure he was kidding, and playing it for a joke, at which they were both trying hard not to laugh at, but fuck, he also was kinda jealous. Timmy didn’t give him gifts… 

“It’s silly and -”

“ _ I _ don’t give you gifts…” Timmy pouted, half fake, half real. All it got was Armie standing up, and he thought he’d taken the brat routine a little too far, but then, Armie pushed his legs open and it took all Timmy had to keep breathing.

He leaned in painfully slow, one giant hand cupping Timmy’s cheek, sliding into his hair, his mouth then on his neck, what Timmy now internally referred to as Armie’s favourite part of his neck, peppering kisses there, before finally kissing him, deep and tinglesome, on the lips. Both moaned before realising where they were, and pulling back. Armie whispering softly into his ear then, “what’s a few dozen dry cookies compared to what you gave me the other day?”

Timmy blushed.

“Those girls can want to have me, but who actually gets to have me?”

Tim tried to play it cool, but he was so done trying to hide how he felt. Instead he just launched into another scorching kiss. 

“Do I?”

“Hm?”

“Get to  _ have  _ you.” Timmy reached out and toyed with Armie’s waistband on his pants.

Armie just nodded. And instantly Timmy came up with a plan. 

“Your house still occupied?”

“Yeah, when I left this morning she was arranging flowers… depressively.”

“How do you - “

“They were dead.”

“Oh.”

“It’s a lot. She’s… I mean she left him, but I guess a break up is a break up. I just wish … I could help her. But she’s hell bent on being ‘fine’.”

Timmy nodded, wanting to care about this cockblock, but he didn’t know her.

“I leave on Monday...” Timmy attempted to guilt him then, but he saw right through it, grabbing his hands and holding them. 

“I know and like I said when we were texting, we can do that a lot - FaceTime too - it’ll fly by and you’ll be so busy anyway …”

“I still wanna spend proper time with you before I go.”

They both knew what that meant.

“We still can, we’ll figure something out -”

“My mom is working nights starting Friday, you could come over to my place?”

Armie instantly looked guilty.

“What?” Timmy asked, already knowing, somehow what he was feeling.

“Won’t she flip out if she -”

“She won’t even  _ know _ , I mean I spend most of them alone if she’s not home or I don’t have plans with friends… so… technically for all she knows I’d just be home packing.”

Armie nodded.

“Okay, I’ll come over, bring pizza we can ...hang out.”

Timmy smirked.

“Are you nervous?

“Shut up,” Armie sighed, before smiling. “And yes, I am okay? We can’t all be as smooth as you.”

At that Timmy burst out laughing, so loud he clapped both hands over his mouth in apology.

“Me?! Smooth? Armie I am _not_ smooth!”

“Well, you’re better at this shit than I am! I get it, I’m older and blah blah blah, but I don’t have _that_ much experience with ...this and … I don’t want to fuck it or you  _ up _ .”

“But you  _ do  _ want to fuck me.” Statement not question. It made him smile and blush so Tim was happy with his choice of words. But he could see and feel that Armie was scared, it was honestly, hugely comforting. He leaned up again, and kissed Armie sweetly this time, not aiming for anything more. Deciding to leave it at that.

“See you on Friday.” he quipped, stepping back and sadly, out of Armie’s grasp. 

“You have class tomorrow, genius.” Armie countered. 

“Nope, last period for the next few days is being taken up by meetings and online meetings from the programme, they have to be supervised by Hall.”

“Mr.”

“Hall has to supervise because he hooks us up with his contact in the city.” Timmy kept going, “it’s annoying but … still.” he shrugged.

“Are you nervous?”

“About us?”

Armie smiled. “No, the programme. The auditions.” 

“It either works out or it doesn’t. I can only do my best.” Sure that shit sounded rehearsed, because, well, it was.

“I wish I was as brave as you are.”

“Brave or stupid?”

Armie rolled his eyes, before moving too, to grab his backpack again. 

“Braver than anyone I’ve ever met.” At that Armie kissed him on the cheek in passing. 

“See you Friday.” 

****************************

It had started off normal, awkward even, him showing up to Timmy’s childhood home, that he _still_ lived in, with his mother, this attempt at a normal date, when in reality they were simply not normal. Tim had cleaned the whole house - once again to his mother’s surprise, and he had lied again, much to the non surprise of his mother. She knew he was up to something, but she let it slide with a knowing smile. She took off for her shift, and he showered, and used her fancy shower gels too, and even conditioner, which turned out to be a mistake, because he then spent an extra half hour attempting to tame down his hair. This time deciding against jeans, and going for sweatpants. He would not make the same mistake twice. 

But he was currently being pressed repeatedly against his couch, Armie on top of him, both of them wrapped around each other, his sweater discarded, Armie’s shirt somewhere behind them, both of them in t-shirts and sweats, and making out harder than he’d ever made out with anyone - he was breathless to the point of panic, he was beyond aroused and really trying hard not to come in his pants. But he wanted this, wanted it all, more than he could remember wanting anything before. It was like Armie was a drug, and every time he was around him, he became obsessed. 

Armie had walked in, two pizzas, sides, drinks, the whole nine, a bashful look on his face as Timmy brought him through to the kitchen. He noticed him, noticing all the photos on the walls of Little Timmy, and his friends, cousins, family, before they grabbed their feasts and settled down in front of the TV. The term Netflix and chill wasn’t uttered, but it was implied. 

“I ran into your boss… Uh, Luca? Tall, kinda harsh Italian guy?” Armie admitted, in between big bites of pizza. They were half way through a documentary they both had lost interest in about a half hour before. Small talk had taken over.

“Oh yeah?” Luca’s cool. He say anything?”

Armie nodded.

“That my choice of garlic knot was probably a ‘bad idea’ if I was going to eat this with another human.”

At that Timmy burst out laughing.

“But that if that human was a woman it was probably for the best.” Armie shook his head. 

“Yeaaaaaaaaah,” Timmy dragged out, “he might know I have a crush on you… not like a crush but - that sounds childish that … that I like you.” 

Armie looked at him then, a soft smile there, even reaching his eyes.

“He seemed very concerned with the amount of food, even for and I quote ‘a big man your big size it’s a lot of cheese’.” Armie laughed. “I assured him that it wouldn’t go to waste.”

Timmy nodded. “He’s particular.”

“He told me that your favourite was the pepperoni.” 

Tim’s eyes went wide then.

“Does he -” 

“No … I mean … he asked why I was so happy, last shift, what I was hiding behind my smiles” Timmy affected his accent to sound like Luca, he was sure he failed, but it made Armie laugh anyway. “He knows I like you, and I don’t know … he’s a smart man… But I haven’t told anyone.”

“Me either.” Armie replied, almost sad.

Timmy snaked his fingers up Armie’s neck then, lingering on his soft scruff, before tangling in his hair, Armie leaned in and let out a soft sigh that hurt Timmy’s heart in a way that he didn’t expect. That’s when he felt the need to abandon the small talk, the distraction of the TV and climb into his lap, in a way that was becoming all too routine now. 

Kissing Armie as deeply and as full of ‘I’m here, I’m here, see me’ that Timmy could muster, it took all of a second for Armie to reciprocate, grabbing his ass through his sweats, massaging his way up Timmy’s back, before scraping into his scalp in that body tingling way that no one had ever made him feel before. It was how they easily lost track of time, and Timmy got intimately close to his couch in ways he had never before - excellent spring back action, he had to admit. Getting deliciously squashed by a six five man, his lips attached to your body, giving obscene kisses, turning him on more and more to the point where he didn’t want to admit defeat, the only sounds in the room was both their breathing, the out highly pitched moan, all of it drowning out the TV. With all the grinding, the weight and the moans - my god the moans - he had to tap out and ask to stop. To breathe.

If he didn’t he was going to come just from grinding, and he didn’t want that. Again. 

“W-wait, wait, wait.” he murmured, and Armie pulled back right away, and Timmy almost laughed at how wrecked he looked. Skin pink, hair askew, lips swollen, faint scratch marks on his neck, oops. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, good … just … let’s maybe go upstairs? My bed is nicer than the couch.”

“Smooth.” Armie admitted, his skin getting pinker. They maneuvered to stand, Timmy’s legs like jelly now, both of them awkwardly hard, and clingy. But they made it slowly upstairs, down the hall and to Timmy’s bedroom. Timmy had been so nervous for this moment above all else. But Armie walked in, meekly - as meek as a guy his size could - his hands behind his back, as he slowly walked in, looking around the walls. Timmy was nervous now, this was his private space, would Armie like it? Was it too … boyish?

There was the elephant in the room, for he was in fact a boy so it was to be expected? Maybe? He noticed Armie noticing his knickknacks, his bed, his clothes. He got too nervous and had to say something.

“What?”

“Nothing I was expecting more movie posters though, but maybe that’s a projection. It wasn’t until I moved out after grad school that I took mine down.” he smiled. 

Timmy just shrugged, moving to sit on his bed, but thought twice about it and instead just bounced right on it, making Armie laugh. 

“Big bed.”

“Thanks to my 16 year old growth spurt.” Tim quipped, as Armie walked over to where he was lying, his legs dangling off the side. Armie deftly stepped between them, and there it was, Timmy’s heart galloping in his chest as Armie bent down, grabbing his t-shirt and pulling it off him in a smooth swoop, before leaning in further and kissing him. Armie moved then to shuck his own off over his head, messing up his hair again - Timmy loved him disheveled, as all he ever saw was the perfectly professionally quaffed version, that this one, all blushy and horny and messy, was a treat. Timmy kicked off his sweats, and yanked Armie’s down too, leaving them breathlessly giddy, grinding on each other, making an absolute mess of his once neatly made bed. It was the most fun Timmy had ever had in there with another person, and that thought again made him laugh.

“What? Don’t you like this?” Armie asked, coming up for air, from his extensive exploration of Timmy’s earlobe. 

“N-no I do I’m just …” he shook his head. “You’re the first b- man I’ve had in this bed and it was a good choice.”

Armie chuckled. 

“Good to know,” he pulled back, sitting on his knees above Timmy, and Timmy went to grab for the waistline of his boxers.

“Ah, ah, ah.”

Tim pouted. 

“But I wanna suck your diickkk.” he whined and it made them both laugh, before Armie with no ceremony, simply yanked down Timmy’s boxers. 

“You will. I promise. But me first… or technically,  _ you  _ first.” he rolled his eyes at himself before all but disappearing under Timmy’s quit, burrowing down his body kiss by kiss until Timmy gasped. He took him, all of him in his mouth and sweetbabyjesus that was … epic. But then, oh then, Armie had been kneading his ass softly in time with his mouth, Tim was pretty sure he could die and go to heaven on that alone, when Armie’s hands …. _moved_.

“OH!”

At that Armie stopped and looked up. Smiling.

“Is this okay?” He asked, earnestly. 

It was new… even last time he’d been with a guy he hadn’t really taken ...time to do _that_. In a hands on way, for example. But he knew, given the size of Armie, if he wanted that - and he _wanted_ that, then yeah it had to happen in stages. Also very unlike the last time.

Timmy nodded. Closing his eyes.

“Nah we need to use our words here, Tim.” 

“SAT level or -”

At that Armie kissed him. 

“I’m serious… we can stop at any time, you need to know that. I also know that.” 

Timmy opened his eyes then.

“Are you nervous too?”

A huffed out laugh earned him another kiss, before pulling back and laying next to Tim, but he never stopped touching him.

“ ‘Course… God.”

“What was your first time like?” Timmy asked, brave, his hand now petting Armie’s face, and snuggling close. 

Armie merely sighed and looked away.

“Freshman year of College, I was drunk - really drunk - but I … had to work out my issues… what I wanted - and there was another guy on the swim team … he was cute and ...obviously gay...and he liked me -”

Armie looked sad though and Timmy wanted to kiss the sadness out of him, but knew he wanted him to continue too.

“I didn’t love him, but he was a good guy … we … messed around for a few weeks before I freaked out.” he rolled his eyes, “But he was nice…”

“So both our first time’s with guys kinda …”

“Sucked?”

“Blew?”

“Har-Har.” Armie mocked. “Second time was better.”

“I’m hoping I can say that too then -” 

“No pressure then, phew.” he mocked, before snuggling at Timmy’s neck again. “I have provisions in my backpack.” Timmy smiled then before rolling his eyes.

“You _sure_ you weren’t a boy scout?”

He kissed again, before nudging Armie aside, and reaching into his drawer, under his papers, and random crap, and dragged out the bottle of lube. 

“You’re not the only one that’s prepared here, thank you very much.”

Armie blushed then.

“I really shouldn’t underestimate you...I know this by now of course.” 

Damn right, Timmy thought before he all but attacked the guy again with kisses and once again, this time lubed up, Armie broached him, to attempt to slide his fingers there, one and then two and then oh… three felt like too much, no matter how many kisses, no matter how much Timmy wanted it, his hands were so big … but not as big as the rest of him - and if he couldn’t take his fingers without wincing how was he -

“ _Shhh_ ….” Armie attempted, kissing on his neck. “You’re thinking so hard I can  _ feel  _ it, you’re too tense, Tim, relax… I got you.”

He tried and they tried and he wanted to but Armie was right he was over thinking.

Eventually, Armie stopped. Pulled back and ran his free hand through Tim’s hair before sliding in beside him, kissing his cheek.

“Breathe, Timmy … please?”

Tim instead wanted to cry. He had thought of nothing else for months, and here he was finally getting Armie in his bed and he couldn’t fucking relax enough for anything to happen? _Ugh_. 

But before he had a chance to drown in self doubt, Armie all but cuddled him to his broad, warm chest, and okay, that was pretty great too.

“We’re in no rush right -”

He was right, it was barely nine pm. 

Tim nodded against his chest before kissing it. If Timmy couldn’t relax, it didn’t mean he couldn’t make Armie feel good. As he attempted to palm his dick through his pants, Armie simply brought his hands away, holding onto them, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. 

“You trust me right?”

“‘ _Course_.”

“I wanna make you feel good okay, and I think I know how … if you’ll let me.”

Timmy wanted to shrug, but didn’t have time, before Armie moved again, this time between his legs again, taking Tim’s boxers off the whole way, and throwing them across the room. 

“Let me try something, and if you want to stop just tell me and we can absolutely.”

Timmy did trust him, entirely, as the other man kissed him, then his neck then his nipples - and oh okay that was a _thing_ \- and then his belly button - that made him ticklish that he saw Armie notice. Before sucking his dick once, twice, three times, mumbling each time about how amazing he was and how he loved this so much as he perfectly encased Tim in the warmth he wanted so, so much. And then his mouth moved again and OH  _ okay…  _ that was new… that was  _ very  _ new.

Fingers,  _ and  _ tongue managed to do what most could not, and it didn’t take any time at all for Tim to be lost in a euphoric trance, where he was feeling Armie’s hands on him, jerking him over and over, slowly and slower the more time went on, but then to also feel him inside of him like that… Tim’s toes curled, as he rested his feet on Armie’s shoulders, in doing so it elicited a grin that he felt rather than saw, and that’s when it hit, whatever it was, because whatever it was, he’d never felt anything like it before. His whole body jumped without his consent, and he came all over his own stomach with no warning either, as Armie kept on and on and on and in and  _ up  _ and oh GOD. 

“WhatthefuckingfuckwasthatohmyfuckingGODArmie…” he mumbled, as Armie kissed his thighs, and then licked his way up his belly in a move that he wasn’t expecting either. The prim and proper English nerd was hiding something else entirely when he got going in a certain direction, and Timmy was thrilled at the knowledge. He kissed him and it took Tim aback slightly it was so … wrong in a lot of ways but he didn’t taste bad which also surprised the hell out of him, before Armie moved back to his favourite spot on Tim’s neck, and oh … 

“You’ve never done that before huh?” Armie asked, breathless, pink faced and perfect. Tim’s legs were numb, he wanted to know how Armie could still talk, but was busy too trying to catch his breath. 

Armie’s phone was buzzing in his disregarded pants, and had been for God knows how long. They both continued to ignore it. 

“God you’re so fucking perfect do you know that?” Armie muttered, the awe in his voice then was not something Timmy ever wanted to forget, that he could have this effect on someone like Armie, it thrilled him. “So fucking good, and beautiful and ...fuck… I don’t deserve this ...any of this… but you’re trusting me and I … trust you too, T… I do. I know you’re good. I don’t want to fuck this up.” 

“You’re not - you couldn’t. And you do deserve … all good things, not just me.” he reassured him before creadling his face “And shut up I’m not so -”

“You are so.” he smiled, kissing his cheek then. Rolling his eyes at the buzzing as he glanced at the floor.

“You should get it.”

“Nope. Work can fade away, and anyone else can leave a voicemail.” 

Timmy smiled then too, leaning in for another kiss, eager to get his hands on Armie now, relaxed and sated, but still beyond turned on for this man. His hands snaked between Armie’s thighs and the phone started to buzz again, distracting them now. But he kept going, but now that he had come out of his sex fog, he couldn’t NOT hear it.

“You should get it, it looks like they aren’t going to fuck off.” 

Armie sighed.

“I swear to GOD if it’s someone from work I’m going to scream -” he ranted, bending down, giving Timmy the perfect view of his peachy butt as he leaned over to the floor where his pants were. 

“ _Fuck_.” he looked at his phone, sighed coming back to the bed and getting out. Timmy instantly felt the loss, though the worry lines on Armie’s face shot him back to reality.

“What is it?”

“It’s Carly.” His cousin. “Shit, twelve missed calls? How long were we - Yeah, hi what’s up?”

And that’s how Timmy heard the other side of the conversation too because Carly was not soft spoken, and apparently she was mad as fuck. “ No, I’m … with a friend I … Jesus, no okay don’t do that I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay, …” he paced, naked. It was very distracting. “ No … Ok fine I’m literally ten minutes away I’ll be there before the ambulance.”

“ _ Fuck _ .” Timmy got up then, and went to the bathroom, ignoring the worried look on Armie’s face as he continued to talk his cousin down. Apparently she’d fallen and fucked up her leg, and had been forced to call her own ambulance. She was pissed and in pain. 

Timmy came back with a warm soapy cloth and a small towel, handing them both to Armie, as he finished up his call, promising he was on his way, thus ending whatever time they had together. Tim pulled on his own boxers as he watched Armie wipe down and dry off, a look of regretful horniness on his face. 

“The one time I leave to do anything fun and - ugh.” he sighed frustrated, pulling himself together, back into his crumpled clothes. “I have to go with her she doesn’t have -”

“No, no totally I understand … it’s fine.”

“It sucks, Tim, tell me it sucks.” And it really did, but he looked so adorably fluffy and ruffled that it took all he had not to laugh. Instead, he got up on his messed up bed, on his knees and pulled him down for a proper kiss goodbye.

“I am sorry about -”

“Not your fault, and you really should go, she sounded mad.” 

He nodded, before kissing his cheek. 

“Thank you for … everything.”

“Not half of what I wanted everything to be tonight… but can’t be helped.” he was bummed, sure, but he was fairly certain Armie’s cousin had broken her leg, so really, _perspective_. 

“I’ll text you and let you know what the fuck is going on … and you should really start packing.” he added, nodding to the empty suitcase sitting open by his bedroom window. “Big things ahead!” And with that he bolted, down the stairs, and then eventually out the front door - Timmy wagered after gathering his things in the living room. He heard him walk down his path, and out the gate, and once he was gone really took in the emptiness of the house - he had only been there a few hours, but he had taken up so much of the place that when he was no longer there, he felt that shit harder than he expected. He wondered too if this would be what it would be like when eventually they parted for good, with the empty pit in his stomach feeling the way it did right then? Or ten times worse, because it was then that Timmy admitted, at least to himself, that he was actually in love with his English teacher, and that, was _probably_ a bad idea. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens in this chapter, mostly because I refuse to up my chapter count again, and stubbornness is a trait I cling to. But also, because A LOT happens in this chapter I hope you'll enjoy it, and please tell me if the embedded media works. Go forth, there be fake texts and naughty boy pics! 
> 
> Unbeta'd because this is who I am.

APOV:

He’d gotten home from the hospital around four am, dead on his feet. His cousin had in fact broken her leg, and would need taking care of. She knew it and Armie knew it, which was why they called his Aunt. Not someone he ever enjoyed talking to under normal circumstances, but needs must, and once she got over the shock of hearing from him, she agreed that she would fly out from Texas, and fly back with the patient. In truth, Armie had been a little relieved. He had no idea how he was going to balance, work, grading, and being a nurse maid to a rather demanding, but loyal relative - one of few he had that remained loyal to him in any capacity. 

Coming out to hardcore Christian Republicans was not a task he had wanted, nor one he’d wish on his worst enemy. To say he lost half of his family that day, was an understatement. He was not looking forward to the arrival of his Aunt Bee. 

Managing to pass out only to wake up to the sound of the neighbour honking their horn on their driveway, telling me it was almost noon. I had to pick up an hour later, so a hasty shower, and dressing was done, before he even had time to look at his phone. 

There were a couple of innocuous messages from Tim, Tim who had all but kept his sanity in check the night before, sending hilarious and sometimes disgusting memes to him, as he struggled to pass the time, waiting for his cousin to come out of surgery. He decided to call him while he was getting ready, speaker phone on in hand as he shuffled around. 

“‘Lo.”

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Armie heard him smile, “your cousin okay?”

He sighed. “Yeah she should be fine, I have to go pick her up soon so I figured I’d call you now while I still have privacy to actually talk. I didn’t get in ‘til after 4 this morning so I would have called then but -”

“No no don’t worry as long as everything’s okay. I can’t believe she slipped on your basement steps, that’s fucked up.”

“Yeah, the owners of this place … the layout is fucked up, but it’s where the laundry is so… and yeah she was pissed off, even more so when I had to call my Aunt. She’ll be here in the morning to pick her up, they’re gonna fly back ...and ugh.”

“Not fun huh.”

“To say the least. But I just - “ he shoved his sweater over his head, “ wanted to say thank you, for ...yesterday and for last night - you kept me sane.”

Timmy laughed over the phone and God, Armie loved that sound so much, loved being the cause of that sound SO much. 

“Dank memes at your service,” he paused, “but if anything … you left with a serious case of blue balls last night and uh, that can’t have been cute in the hospital.”

“If anything kills a boner it’s seeing an actual bone sticking out of -”

“AH AH AHHH NO SHH I _GET IT_.” he all but screamed, and Armie smiled as he yanked on his jeans and shoved his socked feet into his boots. 

“What are you doing?” a muffled question was asked as he made his way downstairs.

“Getting dressed -”

“Bitch you saying you started this conversation NAKED and didn’t Facetime?” 

At that they both cracked up, and Armie hit the camera button. A second later, a sleepy, still in bed Timmy appeared. Armie actually yearned to touch him, to smooth his hair, to kiss him. Instead he did what he always did when he thought that way, he smiled. 

“Hey sleepy head.” 

“I know it’s past noon but it’s the weekend.” 

“Hey, I’m not judging. Pretty sure I still have pillow creases on my face.” he attempted to look into the camera to check, instead all he saw was the top of Tim’s head, then movement, and suddenly he was sitting up in the bed he had been in with him mere hours before. 

“Get up to anything interesting after I left?” Armie asked, setting the phone down facing him as he switched on his coffee.

“I masturbated and thought about you, if that counts…” Tim freely admitted, and honestly Armie was thankful he’d finished pouring his milk into his to-go mug. 

“Jesus Christ you’re blunt.”

“HEY! You asked! … Wait no one is home with you right now right?”

That made Armie laugh. “Well if they were they just got an earful.”

“Meh.” Timmy said, smiling into the camera. “I guess the chances of us finishing what we started before I leave is slim huh?”

“Realistically I can’t see when I’ll get time away to myself to see you, which honestly sucks... and in school it’s -”

“Yeah. I get it I mean, I’ll be _bitter_ about it until I die but you know…” he smiled, but Armie could see he was hiding his disappointment, he wore every thought on his face, which he guessed would serve him well in his chosen profession. As it stood, he just felt guilt for letting him down. They talked more before Armie got everything he needed to head out the door, and they talked on speaker the entire way to the hospital, he listened as Timmy got up, brushed his teeth, and set about making himself some brunch, before he signed off with a promise to talk again that night. It was the one thing he was looking forward to that weekend, all else, definitely not.

*****

His Aunt arrived with a flurry of energy, the smell of expensive perfume, and one small but very also very expensive carry on. Instantly the quiet air inside his little house was disrupted with airs of judgement.

“The colour of the exterior needs redoing … that’s an interesting choice for an art piece… a games console, really, how old are you, Armand?” Not to mention the subtle digs about his sexuality, those came rapidly and often in her short space of time in his home, as well as the guilt tripping for not ‘contacting’ his parents. Regardless of the context, his parents didn’t want to contact him. He took it on the chin though, having had decades of practice, his poker face was perfection, as his cousin tried and failed to rein her mother in. 

He was upstairs zipping up the suitcases when he heard someone at the door, to which his Aunt promptly answered, he thought nothing of it until he heard the voice, muffled through the doors but still unmistakable. 

“Is Armie home?”

Oh shit.

He bounded down the staircase, while his Aunt stood face to face with Timmy.

“And whom may I ask is calling?”

“Tim? Hi.” Armie interjected. A little breathless and probably blushing. Tim looked like a deer caught in the headlights and given who he was in front of, he didn’t blame him.

“Uh hi I .. you asked me to call over for the classwork…” he raised his eyebrows.

The class...work?

“OH right, of course.” 

Armie’s Aunt looked from one man to the other, confused, and Armie remembered his manners.

“Aunt Bee, this is Timothee, Tim this is my Aunt - she’s visiting from out of town - Tim is …” Jesus, he had to admit it, really. On the surface it was all he was, all he could be. “A student at the school I teach at.” He motioned for Tim to come in, and luckily Armie used one of his guest rooms as an office, which meant they could go there and leave her down stairs. A whole floor of protection to talk. He had no idea Timmy was showing up, but he was so glad to see him. 

“Come on up, I have things printed off for you in the office.”

Tim nodded, keeping it remarkably cool. Once again reminding Armie which one of them was destined for greatness as an actor, and which one was not. Armie tried not to look too closely at his Aunt as he walked back up the stairs with Tim trailing behind him, and it wasn’t until they both stepped into the small bedroom slash office and closed the door that he took a deep breath and laughed, as did Tim.

“Does the _B_ stand for bitch? Because holy fuck she’s scary.” he whispered, pushing Armie against the wall - any and all pretense gone. Armie went willingly, shocking even himself at how easy he’d do anything Timmy wanted right then and there. “I could feel her eyes bore into my skull as we walked up the stairs.” he added, smiling into a kiss, one Armie took gladly, gripping Tim’s hair and pulling him as close as possible, before sliding to his neck, as Tim grasped up for Armie's hand; pulling it in-between their flush bodies ;pressing his hand against the front of his soft black sweatpants. Armie couldn’t help the tiny moan that escaped him.

“Fuck as much as I want to do this we do not have time, she’s nosy as fuck and she’ll clue in -”

“I know, I get it,” he moved then, sliding so gracefully to his knees, yanking Armie’s sweatpants with him as he went, boxers too. 

“Tim -”

“Shut up, I want to do this. Think of it as something to remember me by for the next few weeks,” he winked.

Both of them breathing hard already, Armie rested his head against the wall for a second, before daring to look at again, as he felt the perfect hot heat that was encasing him. His toes curled at the sight, scent and warmth in front of him, the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, completely at his mercy - when really it was him that was at Tim’s mercy, it felt like it had always been that way.

Silently he mouthed ‘fuck’ as the younger man sucked him harder, then using his hands, one on his balls, another jerking him painfully slowly through his spit. Sometimes snaking up his tummy, scratching there softly...

“I’m not gonna last -” he tried to whisper but honestly with the ringing in his ears, he couldn’t have been sure, he felt Timmy’s smile before he heard a small, and soft - 

“That’s the whole fuckin’ point, buddy.” Before he went back to doing what he was doing so deftly.

Once, twice more and he was done for, not that Timmy even flinched taking it all, much to Armie’s fucking awe. He came with his fist in his mouth, seeing stars as he opened his eyes, seeing Timmy slide gracefully to full height again, wipe his beautiful mouth and smirk like he knew all of Armie’s secrets - and at this point he probably did. 

“ _Fuck_ -” was all Armie could eloquently muster. 

“Bet you were never allowed to bring boys into your room huh?”

Armie tried to bite back a laugh as Timmy delicately pulled his boxers back into place, leaving him to pull up his pants. 

“ I … No. To say the least.” It earned Armie a kiss on the cheek then, before Timmy spun around looking at the desk.

“Give me something random, I can’t leave empty handed.” 

“Master of props.” Armie commented, before brushing past him, kissing his cheek, to go to his desk and retrieve random documents - most were old tests for the freshman class. 

“What about you?” He asked, nodding to the now noticeable bulge, to which Timmy thoughtfully held the papers over before laughing.

“Not enough time, remember? Besides, I’d been thinking about doing that all weekend, and well, I manifest my own destiny… and all that.” 

Armie rolled his eyes, still breathless, knowing he was still red-faced, he looked into the mirror by the door, and confirmed - yes, looking thoroughly fucked. 

“New York isn’t gonna know what hit it, superstar.”

“Don’t -” that made Tim blush then, headbutting him in the chest gently, before Armie wrapped his arms around him, they had a few more minutes before things got weird, he figured. “I’m terrified, and excited and sick all at once.”

“Don’t underestimate something that makes you feel alive, those things … are few and far between.”

Like you, God, _you_.

“Okay grandpa, you’re a whole ass twenty four and - “

“I’m just saying, don’t run from it. You’re made for this, and it’ll shine through I know it will.”

“The competition is -”

“Nothing compared to you.”

Timmy rolled his eyes then, suppressing a smile.

“I gotta go, my next shift starts in like,” he looked at his watch, “fuck, five minutes.” 

Having discovered that he didn’t in fact walk there - thank god, it was almost March, but it was still cold as fuck. That he had a delivery a few blocks from Armie’s place and offered to do it before the end of his first shift. Smart boy was indeed smart. 

“I still have to change into my uniform, Luca doesn’t much care what we wear for delivery…” he mumbled, palming himself slightly thought his pants, and fuck … Armie wanted nothing more than to send him out as dizzy as he had left him, but it wasn’t to be. 

Armie looked him over once more, checking for evidence more than anything, and Tim assured him that he looked ...fine. Even though they both knew that was a lie. Before they excited the bedroom / office and made their way down stairs again. Aunt Bee was nowhere to be seen, but his cousin called out from the living room where she had been sleeping, leg propped up on the couch on several cushions. 

“Hey new person,” she called with a smile and Timmy stopped and poked his head around the door and waved to her.

“Carly, this is Timmy...Tim, my cousin.”

He nodded, a sympathetic look on his face, no that he hadn’t been sucking dick minutes before. 

“Sorry about your leg, that sucks -”

Armie resisted the urge to laugh. 

“What sucks more -”

God, stop saying sucks, people!

“Is having to go back to hell with my mother -” she whispered. “But Armand is a busy boy and really doesn’t need to be stuck with me…” she added, looking between them both, then smiled. 

“It was nice meeting you, sorry ...again. Get well soon though!”

“Thanks Timmy.”

Seeing him out they attempted whispered tones but couldn’t say much with sharp ears around. Instead he promised to text him later that night, and the next day at school, if they got to see 

each other, all the better. But, Armie had meetings, and he knew Timmy had things to set up with other faculty members, and he was leaving on Tuesday. So this was, for all intents and purposes, their last face to face. Armie wanted nothing more than to press him against the car and kiss him, but of course, he couldn't, so he didn’t. 

When he got back into the living room his cousin was smiling at him, it irked him.

“What?”

“Nothing… he’s a nice guy.”

Armie shrugged, reaching for the remote. 

“How old is he…?” 

He didn’t want to react so he just kept his eyes on the tv.

“I don’t know… eighteen?”

“So he’s eighteen or you don’t know?”

He looked at her then. Wondering what the fuck she was getting at.

“He’s eighteen and a couple of months actually, he told me his birthday was after Christmas.”

She nodded, looking toward the TV then too.

“Good.”

That got his attention.

“Why is it good?”

“It’s just good that the guy who's name you call out in your sleep can’t get you prison time.”

His blood ran cold at that, she didn’t look smug or plotting to out him or _them_ , but he was still shocked. Before he got the chance to respond, he heard his Aunt round the corner from the hallway, on the phone. Their cab was being called for later that night, to take them to the airport. He had offered of course, but Aunt Bee decided his shitty car wasn’t good enough, and one she could pay for would be fine, the unsaid - of spending a night under the questionable roof of the family black sheep, remained ignored. When he tried to ask his cousin what she meant, or downplay the comment, she just smiled and shook her head, hobbled to the cab and rolled her eyes at her mother’s fussing and complaints. . He was never so glad to see the back of people, if he was being honest.

***

He was in school earlier than usual that Monday, the students hadn't left their dorms when he arrived, so the silence was odd, but welcome. He was never really a morning person, and he doubted that that would change with time. He had papers to grade, and meetings that afternoon too, as a substitute he still wasn’t privy to the long term plans for the school - he was very aware that being kept on wasn’t something he should hope for, funding, timing, space, it all added up to a no. He had applied for other jobs, all over the country too, just to keep his options open. When the September semester begins, he had really no idea where he would end up. Checking his email for those applications, made him think of Timmy. He was also fairly certain that Timmy was aware of the ...delicacy of their situation. It wasn’t long term, it couldn’t be, the nature of their relationship alone meant that anything long distance was near impossible. The words went unsaid, but he knew how smart Tim was, and how driven he was for his future. That couldn't include a fairly illegal affair with his high school teacher. 

He rolled his eyes at himself. Who was he? He knew his feelings, even his initial attraction to Timmy was beyond wrong, he shouldn’t even have noticed how cute he was when he walked into that classroom, never mind how literally actually _beautiful_ he was, how charming, how utterly magnetic. No, he knew better, it didn’t mean that he did better. He was foolish and still treated that classroom like a class from college, you walk in, you teach as a TA, you see a cute guy and it’s fine.

Except that wasn’t the circumstance then, or now, and before he checked himself, he was already too far gone. He tried to keep things professional, platonic, but he got tired of holding back from something they clearly both wanted, even if they never spoke of for how long, or how little a time it would actually be. 

Timmy talked of plans and moves, and his career that Armie knew he would reach - he would reach the stars and walk among them, Armie was sure of it, and encouraged it at every conversation. Timmy had a roadmap to follow, a goal, Armie envied him if he was being honest. He never had one of those for himself. He wouldn’t even know where to begin if he thought about what he really wanted for his life. The question scared him too much, and dealing with his family, his sexuality and choosing a job had been more than enough for him to deal with for the rest of his twenties. 

Walking through the grounds of the school, vast as they were, he spotted Tim with his group of friends messing around over by the benches that sat under the large oak trees on the edge of the property, they were hugging and singing and generally being their overly caffeinated selves. Carefree is what it looked like, but he wasn’t so far away from his own education that he remembered the stress behind the smiles. He wouldn't want to relive it again for anything.

Late evening meetings and a full day of classes kept him from being able to see him that day, but he got a call just as he was waking up the next morning, he was already at the bus station, ready to head out. And as much as he wanted to sit, and talk with him that entire day, he couldn’t, as classes and more meetings awaited him that day too. A promise of a Facetime when he arrived at his destination was enough, however.

Their FaceTime consisted of Tim quietly 'because grandma was watching her shows', showing him around his room ‘that is basically a closet, the irony _I know_ ,’ before flopping down on his pull out bed with a sigh, and explaining how his first half day of inductions went. How much he hadn't realised he had missed the city, and had inhaled three slices of street pizza before heading back to the apartment. Overall his nerves, Armie could see, were settling, because as he kept reminding Tim, he was _fucking made_ for this. Things turned down a different road when Tim brought up moving there in the summer, if all went well, if he got any job offers, or intern offers from a few of the theaters that he was chancing his arm at giving him a shot - his grandmother was ‘super old but like, super connected too, she knows people’, and while Armie envisioned a very small once- dark- haired woman as part of some old person mafia, it made Timmy laugh. They talked about all things to come during his stay, and Armie did his duty as his hype man when he sounded like he was doubting his abilities again. He refused to let him feel insecure, he had witnessed him bring that play to it's knees with emotion, and half the audience were reaching for the tissues because of his ability to hook you in. Falling asleep to the sound of his voice was one of the nicer things in his life in that moment.

***

Armie all but dropped his phone on his face when the photo showed up. He hit dial on T’s number right away, and was met with a smug laugh.

“Did you like it?”

“Did I … Fuck, Tim… I almost smashed my phone off my face.”

More laughter, that he could tell Tim was trying to muffle, with his sleeve or his pillow, or something near by - right - thin walls. 

“I was just … thinking about you when I woke up and _well…_ ” 

Armie bit his lip, no one could see him and yet he was still blushing. 

“Thinking about me ...Happy thoughts?”

“Really, _really_ happy…” Maybe Armie’s toes curled by how Tim’s voice dropped an octave or two deeper as he all but fucking whispered into the phone, maybe. 

“Christ, T …” 

More laughter, he had to bite his lip to stop his hand creeping south. He knew, due to Timmy’s bluntness that he thought about him when he jerked off, but to be hit with a visual somewhat similar was ...something else. 

“No faces, okay?” He warned and was met with a ‘tut’. 

“Armie I’m younger than you, but I wasn’t born _yesterday_.”

“I don’t trust the cloud.”

“Who does. Dumb people, that’s who.” 

A beat.

“Anyway, as much as I would love to uh, stick around and talk you into sending me something _similar…_ I have to get going, I’ve two trains for my audition today.”

Knocking himself out of his horny stupor, Armie nodded.

“The play one right?”

“Yeaaah, I mean, it’s a long shot, but I’ve got my foot in the door so I hope it goes well, I think there’s a big casting agent there today as well, hopefully when I’m on stage, but if not, well, I have four more auditions today.”

“That’s ...a lot.”

“I’m lucky, Annie really came through for me, the rest I have to arrange for myself, or within the group, so that’s cool, a challenge.”

“And you love a challenge.”

Another giggle, “Well, like I said I hate to leave you with just your happy thoughts but I gotta -”

“Good luck today, you will blow them away, I know it.”

Another scoff.

“There’s a joke there coming from you that I won’t touch.”

Armie rolled his eyes.

“Stop!” he dragged out, only to hear more laughing from Timmy’s end. They laughed off more innuendo before he finally did hang up with a sigh, and if Armie had to take matters into his own hands in the bathroom that morning, well it was between him and his lube.

***

Feeling brave, Armie stepped out, mid-shower, and reached for his phone, tilted it against his mirror and set the timer. Knowing that Tim was in the middle of auditions and classes all that day, he had the morning off and had spent it texting him on and off, stupid shit - memes mostly - random blurbs of info from the internet that he assumed he’d find interesting. Anything just to keep his anxiety at bay. But this was different, Tim had sent him a few salacious texts, and photos, at this point, he had been gone two weeks, and it was how he rolled - they would be swiftly followed by a phone-call that all but teetered on phone sex - though, neither of them brave enough for that, fully, yet.

The little buttons appeared letting him know instantly that Tim was typing. Then they stopped, then they started again, and it made Armie giddy to know that whatever his reaction was, it was enough to render him speechless. He set his phone back down and went to finish off, in more ways than one, in the shower, the smile never leaving his face.

And sure enough, Armie wasn't half way through a cup of coffee when his phone vibrated on the table, sitting in front of him was the school Headmistress, sipping her coffee too, going over the notes for his other job applications - her reference included. His knee started to bounce of it's own accord, wanting so desperately to check the message, but at the same time daring not to. The second she excused herself to go to the bathroom however, he went for it. Biting his lip at the image on the screen. A simple smiley face with a 'Thinking of you'... and then a photo.

Armie just closed his eyes, and willed his mind to a different place. He had a half hour more of the meeting and then he was free, and when he was, Timmy would be getting a fucking phone call.

***

It had started as a joke, both of them back in their respective beds, both of them tipsy from respective nights on the town. Armie’s was a staff night out, one of their birthdays, they d made it a thing, and went to all five bars in the little town to prove it. Some of the older staff members peaced out after the meal, but never let it be said teachers had common sense. He didn’t, he and his triple margaritas, didn’t. Tim had been out too, but at a new friends house, there had been a lot of booze and weed, and well, he had just about made it home around two thirty, both of them texting each other gibberish texts until they were both in bed, that’s when Armie got the call. Both sort of haphazardly sprawled across their beds, pliant from too much of a good time.

“Fuckin’ miss you, would have loved to have had you there tonight. Those hipster fucks wouldn’t have _known_ what to do with you.”

Armie smirked, imagining the scene of nicotine stained hands around cups full of weak liquor, pretending to know shit about shit. 

“But you’d know,” he teased.

“Fuck _yeah_ I’d know, not like it’s not something i haven’t thought about - _extensively_.” Timmy added, giggling.

“Oh, yeah?” He obviously baited, but hey, he was chilled, he was drunk, he was weak as hell and wanted to know, he wanted to know everything floating through Tim’s head.

“There’s just so much of you _all_ the time, and I wanna take my time and experience it all. It’s all I wanna do right now, be there with you, next to you, bury my face in your amazingly smelling neck - you bastard - how’d you always smell so good?” he mumbled, making Armie smile, his eyes closing at the thought, that yeah it would be pretty neat to have Tim next to him right then, his body flush with his, getting to do some exploring of his own. All he managed however was a sleepy, ‘ _mmm_ ’. Before Tim continued.

“And not in the cramped car this time either, properly, pay proper attention to all of you.”

“You’d treat me so good,” Armie managed, making Tim laugh then.

“Fuck yeah I would, so fucking good, because i know you’d do me just right.”

Now that made Armie laugh. Tim was nothing if not blunt. 

“I’d try my best, there’s all of you too that I wanna get to know, like, how ticklish are you exactly… what if I tracked those freckles with my tongue, it was hard to see in a badly lit car, but I figure they go pretty low… I wanna do that… I wanna feel you wrapped around me when you come …” he babbled, blindly reaching for the lube on his nightstand, and applying it liberally, his boxers now down around his ankles. 

“Please God tell me you’re doing what I’m doing,” Timmy huffed, shuffling blankets were heard but not much else. 

“Yes, fuck. Just want it to be you, want it to be you so badly - touching me … sucking me -”

“Fuck -” was all he got in response, but in time with the breathing, it was enough.

“I wanna be with you, properly. I want it all this time, and I know you think … God knows what you think but I can and I want to, so badly. Last time … wasn’t with someone who knew what the hell was happening… but I feel safe with you. I just wanna be with you.”

Armie blinked, no he wasn’t crying, no he didn’t desperately want Timmy to feel safe with every lover, so glad he fell into that category, no, he wasn’t flashing back to his own inadequate experiences with boys who didn’t pay him no comfort because of his size, because he looked older, because he ‘could take it’, no, he didn’t want that for Timmy, and more than anything in that moment he just wanted to fucking hold him and tell him that. But he didn’t instead, they continued to whisper and moan things he knew sober they could never, because there was still a block to both of them emotionally, something he wished wasn’t real, but it was. Not everyone had a script, not everyone knew the perfect thing to say every time. Particularly when it came to feelings, and to lust. Both together were a disaster. But, it got them both off, Timmy almost feeding on Armie’s vocal orgasms, both of them coming almost together, leaving nothing but breathlessness over the line, before Timmy laughed.

“Why haven’t we been doing this all along?” he asked, then making Armie laugh. Before he knew what was happening, the call cut out, and cut back with a request for video. He hit accept, even though it was almost pitch dark in his room. He knew he probably looked insane, his hair askew, his face pink and his lips swollen, seems Timmy didn’t mind though, he just bit his lip in response.

_“Fuck you’re sexy…”_

“Look at you… do you even know.”

“No, but you should tell me, ideally when you’re inside me.”

At that Armie cackled. 

“You are trouble, Tim, with a CAPITAL T.”

He just smiled, sobering up, but sated, it was a good look on him.

“I’ve been practicing for when I get home, and I get to see you… I didn’t tell you this but I um.” he shied away from the camera then, only to pop back into frame with something - he held it up to the screen for a split second and - 

“Tim is that a …”

“Maybe… I tried to guess your size… the girl in the store was NOT helpful when I tried to like … explain in hands how big you were…”

_Oh my fucking GOD._

At that he all but lost it, both of them almost in tears laughing, as Timmy retold his Dildo buying story, in between breaks of ‘no no wait it gets WORSE I think my Grandma found it!!’. 

“Shit, is your grandma deaf if did she -”

His eyes widened. 

“Oh …fuck, no, she’s not here. She’s gone for the weekend to the Shore with her friend, the party animal that she is.”

Armie breathed a sigh of relief, both of them had been so involved in their need for the other, he had entirely forgotten where Tim was! Seems forgetting himself was common around that guy, even if he was hundreds of miles away.

***

For the next week it was how they continued, stealing time to turn each other on at the most inopportune moments purposefully. Making it a game, Tim would send him butt shots during class time, knowing he would be dying to open it, but wouldn’t, Armie would reciprocate and when they both got home, their FaceTime went from a cute check in on their mutual day, to mutual orgasms real quick. It was thrilling, Timmy said, waiting for the right time, waiting for it all just so he could see Armie again, see him at his most intimate - even if it were through a screen, it made what he knew he was coming home to all the more exciting. And Armie agreed, he had plans for Tim when he finally got back. He was going to take him out to dinner, somewhere really nice, to celebrate his success, and get a chance to spoil him too, he really wanted to do that, and he really wanted to invite him back to his place, which he would be sure to clean before he came over, and after that, whatever happened, Armie rationalised, happened. He really hoped sex would happen, he wasn’t a monk, and all the teasing and foreplay was actually, he was sure, driving him to distraction. Either way, the week leading up to Timmy’s return was some of the most fun he’d had in a long while, knowing that this guy just got him, and his dumbass sense of humour, made all the difference.

It wasn’t to last though, because while he had cleaned his place, changed his sheets, opened all the windows, and even bought a nice candle - he didn’t know shit about candles, but the girl in the store said it was relaxing, he wanted that vibe, so he got it. 

Pity he didn’t have the candle that day in school however, because before he even made it to his class, the headmistress called him into her office, asking him to sit down. It was most out of the ordinary, since he was fairly on top of all his grading and such, he didn’t know what it was about. 

Then the other shoe dropped, and so did Armie’s stomach.

“There’s been a complaint against a teacher, from a student, of sexual misconduct.”   
  
  
  


********************

Timmy couldn’t wait, he was practically vibrating with excitement the entire bus ride back from the city. Not only had he booked jobs, real life actual JOBS with contracts! But he was also headed back home, happy to see his mom, his friends, but more than anything, happy to see and get to finally spend proper time with Armie. He’d text and Facetimed with his friends to let them know the news, but he wanted to keep something for himself to share with Armie in person, knowing how supportive he had been through the entire situation to him, and how his pep talks really helped to keep Timmy’s anxiety in check. He knew he wanted to act, wanted to make it his life, but knew that statistically, it wasn’t ever going to be easy, and he had to hustle, and say yes to every opportunity to get his name out there. Having shot two regional commercials while in New York - one that had a shot of being shown on Network TV, he also booked a play, it was second lead, but it was also in London, so it enabled him to plan ahead - he was due there directly after graduation, but he’d have to start putting the wheels in motion as soon as possible. So much to plan, never mind the preparation for the play itself.

He made it back to town just before noon, back home just before one, and of course his mom was there to welcome him home with a big lunch, and even balloons. He was stoked to see her of course, hugged her for entirely too long, gave her the carefully wrapped Latkes - the one’s he didn’t scoff down on the way back - and settled in for an overindulgence of food, and talking. All the while, still looking at his phone, waiting for Armie to respond. It had been a whole day, which wasn’t like him at all, he was attached to the damn thing so it was odder still that there hadn’t even been an emoji acknowledgement, or a ‘see you soon…’ or something from the guy. It made Timmy uneasy, but he forced himself to be as present as possible with his mom, he had missed her so much, and he really did have a lot to tell her. Not to mention all the second hand gossip from his grandma. 

She dropped him off at school before heading for her shift at the hospital, he went under the guise of seeing his friends, saying he’d bring his stuff over later, but that he wanted to just ‘hang out’, in the dorms. Truth was, he hadn’t even texted most of his friends back, too preoccupied with thoughts of Armie. He knew he worked late most evenings, and so he had hoped to catch him in his class. And for once that entire day, something went right, there he was sitting alone, writing something at his desk. His phone next to him, the asshole.

“So your phone isn’t broken then?” Was all he said, stepping into the room, the look of shock on Armie’s face was almost comical. 

“Tim you’re home!” he sounded as surprised as he looked, which, why, Timmy had text him hours before. His excitement to see the man, now fully dead, only dread living in his stomach at the way Armie fidgeted. 

“I don’t know why you sound surprised, I told you, in multiple texts…” he moved on up, tempted to go toe to toe, instinct still to lean up and kiss him, but no. Something was very off and Timmy’s anxiety was slowly rising.

“I wanted to text you back but I … classes ran over, then there was a meeting and -”

“You seem pretty chill right now…” 

“I’ m grading, I’m in a circle of hell…” he attempted at casual, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“The fuck is going on, Armie?”

His eyes went to the ground, he licked his lips and looked up. 

“We can’t see each other anymore.” 

And there it was, the shoe he had been waiting to drop since he left the city that morning. He felt a little dizzy, so he leaned against one of the front desks.

“I see… and you’ve come to this magical conclusion right now? Just as I get back and maybe things were expected?” He asked, defiant. Because this was bullshit, just the other night on the phone they were happy, they were playful … this was BULLSHIT.

Armie shook his head. 

“No I … No. I …”

“Use your words,” Timmy parroted his phrase back to him, waiting to hear what excuse he would come up with. Instead, he went over and closed the classroom door.

“The reason why I didn’t text you back -”

“Is because you’re an _asshole…_ ”

“The meeting … it … the police were there.”

Timmy’s stomach dropped again, this time for other reasons, one of them being fear. 

“One of the teachers was reported for … inappropriate behaviour towards a student.” Armie fidgeted again. “The student said it had been going on for months last year, and only now came forward because they felt they could.”

No one had text Timmy of even a whiff of this size of a scandal, he instantly wondered who it was.

“It’ll be everywhere by tomorrow because they’re … interviewing the students - all of them - and all the teachers and there’s gonna be an investigation.” 

“I mean … it’s not me, it’s not us so -”

“Tim, Jesus, come on. You know this isn’t … you know this can’t …” Armie was upset, he could barely speak. “The last thing I ever fucking wanted was for you to feel … like this was forced or something or wrong, that you were wrong because you weren't, but I was. I knew I was, because yeah a handful of years should be no big deal at our age - it’s all ...fine except we both know it’s not. Skirting the lines of morality here -”

“Oh gimme a break!”

“I’m your god damn teacher, Tim, and we still just gently placed that fact to the side because we liked each other, and right now, that fact has got to be placed back on the damn table because it’s very fucking relevant.”

“I don’t think what we did is wrong -”

“But the school board, and oh, I don’t know, maybe the cops, might.”

“I told you I never told -”

“Which is another fucked up thing, isn’t it!” he was freaking, getting louder, so very unlike him. “When you’re in love with someone you should be able to shout it from the rooftops, not hide it away like it’s some kind of shameful thing. And we did that, and … I feel sick because I made you do that too, and the first time you feel things for someone - fuck - any time you feel things you shouldn’t have to hide them if they’re something good.” 

Timmy was so angry he missed his wording, something that would only come back to him that night as he played this shit show back in his mind, despising him all over again.

“This is such bullshit, I can just say that nothing’s happened, you say it too - boom. No one knows anything else.”

Armie ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head.

“I can take the hit. I don’t care one way or the other, if you feel like you need to be honest with them, I don’t want you to lie.”

Timmy looked at the other man as if he were insane, given what he was saying.

“You’d what, get arrested? Lose your job?’

He shrugged.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen to her - the student was eighteen, graduated now … but now it’s come out … or will come out … I don’t know what they do but she’s for sure lost her job, beyond that I guess it’s up to the cops.”

“And you’d be fine with the same fate even though I don’t think any of the same things. You didn’t fucking force me to do ANYTHING -”

“Balance of power, Tim. It doesn’t matter - it’s what they’ll say.”

Timmy chewed his cheek, he wanted to cry, he wanted to yell, he wanted to shake some goddamn sense into this man. But he seemed set in his ways. He tried to reach out, tentatively, just touching the other man’s shirt cuff, Armie sighed, before looking up.

“I told you when this all started I didn’t want you to get hurt or to -”

“I know,” he answered, softly.

“And if something like this gets out - tomorrow it’ll all be anyone is talking about, and I don’t want something like that for you. You have a huge future ahead of you, Tim.” he smiled then, but still sadly, and Timmy’s heart just broke over and over, knowing deep down he was making sense, but still hating that this was their reality. “I’m talking a year from now, ten years from now, you don’t want something like this following you around, right?”

He was right, and again, Timmy loathed the fact.

“So that’s it then, just like that, all our plans … everything we were going to do before the end of the summer, just … You know,” he defied, stepping back. “I never thought this was some kind of bullshit happily ever after scenario, but this is Bull.Shit.”

“I know, but what else are we to do here?”

“We? No, fuck you and your ‘we’ this is all on you.”

“Timmy -”

“No, _fuck you_.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine, fuck me then, but this is for both our own goods, and when you get over the anger, you’ll see I’m right.”

Timmy merely tutted, scuffed his shoe against the floor and rolled his eyes.

“I’ll see you’re scared, and full of shit. But whatever, sorry I wasted your time, I guess -”

“Don’t be like that -” Armie attempted, but Tim could tell there was no fight behind it, so no, really, fuck him. As much as wanted to actually fuck him, this took all that and threw it out the window, he was breaking up with him because he was scared of something that didn’t even apply to them! Or so he thought. 

“You keep saying that you didn’t want to hurt me, but guess what?” He bit back as he exited, before shrugging at Armie defeated, before turning and leaving. The pit in his stomach sank deeper as he got further to his dorm, before turning around and setting off for home. He couldn’t be around his friends right then, he could be around anyone. 

The next morning when he woke up to the class group chat filled with over a hundred messages, and the scandal that finally broke around town, the sinking feeling of hate in his heart for Armie evaporated. He really was right, and Mrs Hainlin’s was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked! xo


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of Highschool, proms and promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel guilty at how long this has taken and not at all because I can FEEL 6's glare from here. However! I hope you enjoy if you're still reading this, or just finding this! Let me know what you think! The epilogue is written and will also be posted shortly! :) xo

An Assembly was called, all students, all teachers, and the Head spoke as the others stood with her. All of the students had been made aware, through social media and the likes, what had happened. And encouraging words of wisdom were spoken, explaining that while what had happened had happened while the student was of age, it still was not something they encouraged, not something anyone would, Armie was right, the balance of power question came into play, and he shamefully hated himself for both being right and being a total fucking hypocrite. Sure, he never _willingly_ or _purposefully._ used his position over Timmy, the opposite, but that didn’t really matter, did it? Not when rules were rules and he was just a fucking idiot, treating his job as if he were still in Grad School. He didn’t dare look out into the audience for fear of making eye contact with Tim, and thus feeling the unstoppable urge to step up to the mic and confess his sins and ask for forgiveness. 

Though he knew if he did, Timmy might just murder his ass.

So he didn’t. They respectfully sat through the speech, and offered assistance where they could for students should they need it. And then, then came the worst part.

The impromptu Parent/ Teacher evening.

Parent after parent arrived with their kid, then got an update _on_ their kid, as well as an update on the fact that the former student was not only suing the teacher, but also now, the school - allowing them to get all information at once. Most took it well enough, others wanted to know how such things could be let through the cracks. Armie was thankful, being a substitute, that most didn’t care to take it up with him directly, and he could pass the buck to the Head. He was feeling fine, until Timmy rocked up to his desk in the open space where all the teachers sat conversing, in the assembly hall. 

Timmy and his mom.

His mom that he recognised?

“Nicole?” 

The small, dark haired woman smiled as she approached his table - he stood to greet her, ignoring her confused looking son to his left.

“Armie, how are you!” she shook his hand and took a seat, Timmy then too took his.

“You two uh… know each other?”

Nicole nodded to Armie then, he figured it was up to him to tell the story since she was probably under contract not to.

“Yes I met Nic ...Your mom at the hospital.”

Realisation dawned on Timmy then as he rolled his eyes and sat back, discontent the vibe of the day.

“Anyway since you’ve already met - he’s my English teacher.”

“Oh you're _that_ Armie!” she smiled again looking to Timmy and then back to Armie - instantly putting him on edge. What did that _mean_ exactly? Was he just being paranoid? Probably. 

“Not that I’ve met a lot of Armie’s … Come to think of it, you’re the first!”

Armie smiled back however, finding it really difficult not to - she was so warm and friendly, he had no idea who she was at the hospital - she had helped to take care of his cousin, but she was Flender, so it didn’t connect to Timmy at all ,why would it? 

He proceeded with the standard spiel- a check on how Tim was doing in his class, his grades, his class attendance all the good stuff, and like with the others, Armie went on autopilot. He tried his hardest not to make eye contact with Timmy, but a time or two couldn’t help it - it would have been weirder to avoid him.

“So his attitude right now isn’t how he _normally_ appears in your class, that’s good to know.” she sensed it, of course she did. Armie just shook his head with a smile, in the hopes to put her mind at ease. “I apologise for my son, Armie. I don’t know what’s gotten into him this evening.” she spoke, pure ‘mom’ tone as she gave Timmy the eye. Timmy just folded his arms.

“Don’t worry about it, no he’s doing well he -”

“ _He_ is sitting right here.” Timmy interjected forcing Armie to look him in the eye then, and yeah he was pissed, but Armie could see how hurt he still was, not that he wasn’t feeling the same way.

“I know that, _you_ are doing just fine - your grades haven’t suffered, even with your trip to the city and all the work you had to do there -”

“Timmy told me you were a great support to him on that, said you were a real cheerleader for him.” Nicole added, and that surprised Armie, surprised he had mentioned him to anyone at all.

“Oh… well.” Was he blushing? “I don’t know how well I’d do with pom poms but I … I mean you…” he looked to Tim and then to his mom, “ He’s got a great future ahead of him,” and with a smile that was probably as sad as he felt, he looked back to Timmy, “I’d hate for anything to stand in the way of that. You know?”

The coldness emitting from Timmy then seemed to soften, if only just a little.

“Yeah, I know. Thank you...”

Armie just nodded, shuffling his papers on Tim. And nodding to his mother, as they went into detail on a recap on all the things he’d discussed, and made sure to ask if there were anymore questions. There wasn’t, and he shook her hand again, as Timmy stepped back, his mouth fixed into a sad line, as he waited for his mother - when she did he let get go ahead, before he looked back to Armie. And Armie couldn’t explain it, but there was something like acceptance there. It loosened the tightness across his chest a little. He didn’t think it absolved everything, but for that evening at least, it made him feel better about the whole thing. He wasn’t aware that Timmy liked to hold a grudge like no one he’d ever seen. 

Over the next few weeks he got treated to a show, of sorts. Of Timmy and girls. All the girls in fact, in class he would be distracted by Timmy flirting across the room with one girl or another, off playing it as just joking around of course - but those girls didn’t seem to think so. Or, in the corridors when Armie would be passing by he would be just in time - every time - to witness kisses or cuddles or something else obviously intended for him to see. 

Now, if he were a petty person it wouldn’t take much for him to just call it out. Find Timmy and let him know exactly what he thought of his obvious little games. With his mouth, maybe.

But no, that would have went against the whole point of breaking it off with him. He genuinely didn’t want to fuck up either of their lives, and as it stood, acting on his wants, could very well do that.

So, he rolled his eyes, shoved passed Timmy and the random girl of the week, giving him the attention he was clearly graving - those poor girls really had no chance - he knew that much too. But, it didn’t matter in the moment, he was looking to hurt Armie and why not, Armie hurt him too, he let him down, by letting him go too soon. So onward he went, applying for new jobs, asking friends to keep an eye out in their school distracts for something full time - a thing in the current economy that seemed magically unavailable. 

*************************

He walked into an almost silent class - almost unheard of. There was a TV set up and everything. He fought every urge in his body to roll his damn eyes. 

Schools were STILL doing this shit? 

Sitting on the desk he folded his hands and sighed, eliciting a laugh from the class. 

“Alright look, _I_ don’t wanna be here, _you_ don’t wanna be here, and yet we all _have_ to be here because If I peace out, the headmaster will notice, and she will definitely notice if you all leave ...SO.” 

He shrugged and they laughed again. 

“I have no doubt 1. This should have been covered in Freshman year and every year since, and 2. You all have internet access and probably know more about sex, and sexual _safety_ than half the faculty.” Another laugh, he smiled then. “I’m not going to sit here and awkwardly walk you through the what’s and the where’s and the whatnots.” He knew from the other teachers that it had been, awkwardly addressed yearly, but with how things unfolded, they had to do so again.

A boo came from Caren with a C at the back of the class, everyone laughed of course. 

“Yes, yes I’m sure that would have been a weird PowerPoint presentation to make, but let’s be real here, it’s not necessary. But what is, given uh, recent events… is the knowledge is power even in physical situations. I’m not here to tell you what to do, or not to do, none of us make perfect choices all of the time, but know that there is _always_ a choice. To do or not to do.”

“Woah way to butcher Shakespeare,” a tucked away in the corner Timmy spoke up then but Armie continued. As those around him giggled again.

“Know that if you don’t feel comfortable with something, you don’t have to do it. And it’s something I wish I knew before, hell, it’s something I have to keep reminding myself of now.” he made eye contact with Timmy then, and he seemed to get the point, he shank in his seat, the cocky look no longer evident. “Again, this is things I hope were covered in other classes, and I’m doing a horrible job -”

Macey spoke up then with a shrug. “Nah, at least you’re being real you’re not in here telling us to abstain or something -”

“I _should_ be telling you that.” Again the class laughed, but he just shook his head. 

“My views on … relationships when I was your age - I went to an extremely religious school -” he spoke, seeing he had everyone’s attention, “and it wasn’t like here, where every artistic whim is nurtured, every emotion coddled to use for a scene… it was … extremely repressive, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone … but just know your own mind and body before sharing it with someone else, okay?And, know that condoms are really fucking important -” he smiled knowing it would make them laugh, him cursing. He was sweating less then, glad he had forgone the traditional route. “Uh if anyone asks, I made you all sit through a REALLY acient, very uncomfortable sex ed video, okay?”

“Okay.” the class parroted back making him happy. “Cool. Now get out of here and don’t get pregnant or you’ll die.”

That made the class groan.

“Shut up, I’m old.” he retaliated with a grin.

Everyone filed out, noisy and excited to be free for lunch, and free from awkwardness no doubt, Timmy then, one of the last to do so, sauntered past, his backpack slung over one shoulder

“Some people like your version of _old_ , just sayin’.” The little fucker smirked, he _smirked_ slowly blinking as he casually passed, sending Armie’s world, and his heart, once again into a tizzy.

 _Fuck_.

****

Having ironed his shirt, and attached the suspenders to his pants, he fidgeted for longer than he’d have liked to get them to sit on straight. Took down his stubble a little with a razor then, and attempted to fix his hair. 

He looked in the mirror, and yeah, he looked good. He knew how to rock a tux from when he was very young, one of the few upsides of having a family that forced him to attend a lot of formal events - he knew how to tie his own bow tie around the same time he learned how to tie his shoes. 

He didn’t want to go to the stupid fucking prom, he didn’t want to go to his own prom so the notion of having to relive it year after year as an adult was enough to make him sick.

But, it was part of the gig. So he sighed once more and shrugged on his jacket. 

Days before he had once again been treated to Timmy playing awkward tonsil tennis with a girl in the hallway on the way to his class, he was long past acknowledging it however, and just sidestepped without giving him the satisfaction of a reaction. It didn’t mean he wasn’t cringing on the inside. Timmy needed someone to show him how to kiss - he was eager - but sloppy - and girls his age weren’t cutting it - even weeks of practice later, it seemed.

Armie rolled his eyes at himself then. He had no right to these feelings. 

But the thought of him going with that silly girl, disgusted him, much like Timmy’s words to him so many months before - she didn’t deserve him. But that didn’t mean that he deserved Timmy either, in fact he knew he didn’t, for so many reasons. Least of which, the elephant in every room they were in together, in the damn building in which they stood. 

So he got on with things, made chit chat with the other teachers, pretended to be interested when they talked about their kids, pretended to not notice some of them flirting with him. He knew he worked a fitted suit well, it wasn’t a tux but it was as close to one as he was getting on his budget now. But at every turn, much like the last few months too, there Tim was. 

He looked handsome, adorable, and sweet all at once. Dancing like fools with his friends on the dance floor, twirling everyone and generally being the life of the party. This was good, this was how it should be, out there in the spotlight enjoying his life, his moments - ones you didn’t get back. He didn’t envy him at all, he loved to see it, to see him so happy and so free. He never wanted anyone, least of all himself with his own selfish wants and needs, to dim that light in anyway. 

It still didn’t stop the twinge of jealousy when that girl would make him laugh or get to dance close, but that was just a problem he would have to deal with. But, in a small silver lining for his own suffering, not for long. The school year was all but over, and after this they’d both be just a memory of some confusing moments once upon a time.

“The punch is spiked.” Alli opened as she handed him a very large glass. 

“Shit shouldn’t we lift it?” 

“No, I’m the one that spiked it, these kids …” 

His eyes widened. And she laughed.

“I’m kidding, I spiked mine and yours, oh and Oliva’s too. She can’t cope with supervising the ladies room for drinking, ironic, I know.”

He smiled and took a sip, and Jesus, she wasn’t kidding. 

“Was prom always cheesey or am I just having flashbacks?”

“Flashbacks, sweetness, you’re practically out of the gate yourself. I had prom when ruffles were still unironically cute.” 

“Ruffles were never cute.” he deadpanned, making her laugh. 

“So what’s next for you then? I’m sorry they couldn’t extend the contract.” She added, sympathetically.

Armie sighed, taking a sip of his very strong drink, noting to limit himself to one.

“Yeah but I knew that going in so -”

“Still, we’ve loved having you here.” With a touch to his arm, he smiled back and thanked her, feeling eyes on him then he looked into the crowd of teens, and saw Tim looking away.

“I’ve actually had an offer in Seattle, actually. A small school, but ...promising contract - 2 years. Another in California for a year, so I guess I just have to see what I want.”

“Something more long term?”

Karlie passed by them with a smile, she was flunking his class, but she was a sweet girl.

“Yeah, maybe...” he sipped his drink again. “Seems I get attached easily, so I don’t know if long term is a good idea or a bad idea ...so we’ll see, I guess.”

*******

He exited the teacher lounge, undoing his tie. His shift was over, and a few of the other teachers were doing the rounds - the party still going strong in the dancehall. The hallways always felt odd being empty, it was unnerving without any of the students around - a thought that always came to him, especially during early mornings. 

He rounded the corner, to go say his goodbyes before taking off to a few of the teachers and students he’d been chatting with prior, when he was knocked from his thought process by footsteps, and that voice.

“So you were just going to move across the country and not say anything?” Timmy’s voice echoed in the empty hallway. 

“What?”

That got him an eye roll. 

“You were just going to leave - Miss V said you got a job offer in Cali, that they wanted you to stay but -”

Oh. Right. Word sure did travel fast with teenagers.

“It’s … Yeah.” 

“Were you gonna tell me?”He asked, looking adorably ruffled in his tux, shifting from one foot to another.

“I was, eventually. I hear you got good news too - Congratulations, by the way.”

Timmy sighed. 

“Yeah, a few jobs -”

“A few? Don’t downplay your success, even now, it’s amazing Timmy.”

He folded his arms walking toward Armie, Armie looked back into the hall, and no one was lingering, no one was even around. The music blasting, muffled through the doors. 

“Why are you hiding out here anyway?”

“I ...got into an argument with my date.” he admitted, stuffing his hands in his pockets again then. 

“Can I ask what happened?”

He sighed _again_.

“I don’t want to small talk Armie, I fuckin’ miss you.”

If Armie could feel his heart break, he was sure it at least cracked, then. 

“Tim - you know why -”

“She told me to go fuck myself because I told her I didn’t want to fuck _her_.” He rushed out then. “Because the truth is I couldn’t be with her tonight, when I wanted to be with someone else, it wouldn’t have been fair to her -or to myself.” 

Armie opened his mouth to speak but for once, couldn’t find the right words. So he went for the age old but succinct, “Same.”

It clearly shocked Tim, his rapid blinking teamed with a slightly agape mouth proved as much.

“I ...didn’t expect you to -”

“I know.” Armie attempted to smile, but the truth was, internally he was just wrecked. 

Timmy huffed another breath, taking his hands out of his pockets then, stepping closer.

“So what are we going to do about this then?”

  
  


********

Timmy was pretty sure his entire body was tingling as they walked through the dark parking lot to Armie’s car. There was no one else around, it was in the teachers lot, so there wouldn’t be as everyone else was still inside. Last time he’d been in Armie’s car he had been drunk, and desperate, and wanted so badly for what was now promised, to happen. 

He couldn’t believe it. 

Their hands brushed as they walked, the late May air just on the comfortable side of warm. When he unlocked the car, they both still silent, got in and he sat, keys in the ignition. 

For a split second Timmy’s stomach dropped, had he changed his mind? 

All he heard was Armie taking a deep breath, and he could see the conflict on his face. He decided to try and ease it as much as he could. He reached over for one of his hands, and brought it to his own lips, kissed his knuckles softly, slowly, before moving up his hand, then dropped kisses on his palm, then his wrist. The feel of his jumping pulse under his lips went straight to his dick, it was his turn then to take a deep breath. 

There was a tiny moan that escaped Armie’s lips, and it was all it took to not only sustain Tim’s actions, but to make him bolder, pulling his hand and bringing him closer, to plant those same kisses on his mouth. 

To his astonishment, this time, he let him. And he wasn’t about to hold back. Sat sideways in the front seat, as far over as he could get, clasping one large hand in his own, Timmy’s other entwined in Armie’s hair.

Armie was fairly certain he was going to have a heart attack. All of it was too much, he was feeling too much, his brain felt like mush, his heart was racing out of his chest, and he was more turned on than he had ever remembered in his damn life. This guy, this guy he had no right to imagine - someone as talented and as interesting and the embodiment of sunshine as far as he was concerned, liked him this much, wanted him _this_ much. And the fact he wanted him back just as bad, it seemed, was the harder pill to swallow. He shouldn’t. Neither should Tim, neither of them should and yet there they were, making out in the front seat of a very sensible car like the teenagers one of them was, still. 

Timmy had his hands in Armie’s hair, messing up and taking sick pleasure in how messy he was making his perfectly placed ‘do. Armie pulled back with a laugh though, knocking some sense of reality into both of them.

“We’re not doing this in my car, and we’re really not doing this in the school parking lot… I know I’m dumb but -” he shook his head before moving to start the engine, Timmy moved back too, laughing, giddy, high on happy. 

“Fine, fine, spoil sport.”

Armie just rolled his eyes as they took off.

“Seatbelt please.” Timmy was reminded, with a side eye teamed with an unsuccessfully repressed smile. 

No, they weren’t doing this in Armie’s car, but they were doing this. Finally.

The drive should have been awkward, but it wasn’t. The air of anticipation was enough to make the short drive - made shorter by Armie’s heavy foot on the excelerator - a breeze. That and sneaking glances at Timmy between his smirking and trying not to drive into a ditch, well. He was relieved to pull into the driveway and make their way inside. Not another soul on his street, beside a barking dog somewhere in the distance.

Armie got up close and personal with the back of his front door courtesy of Timmy and his wandering hands the second it closed, shoes were shed, jackets too, ties next, until there was a small puddle of clothing in his hallway, neither of them caring one bit about it in the moment. Armie was determined though not to let this go over badly.

“Wait wait wait.” he whispered, and Timmy just whined as he pulled away, Armie grabbing Timmy’s hand previously massaging his dick. 

“Don’t be a brat, but let us just get outta the cold ass hallway, yeah?”

Timmy just nodded. Determined, grabbing Armie’s hand and heading straight for the stairs, both of them laughing again. 

Hitting the soft carpet of the bedroom, Armie paused to switch on the bedside lamp, the soft glow of the room, suddenly making things more real for him. Armie grabbed his face, bringing him in for another kiss, seemingly unable to _stop_ wanting to do that, Tim played dirty though, unbuckling Armie’s belt as he moved them back and back and back towards the bed, and before either of them knew it there they were making out half dressed, for what felt like years, and not long enough all at once.

Pulling back, Armie was achingly hard, and looking at Tim all swollen lipped and starry eyed, it just made him harder still. Discarding the rest of their clothes went fast, both of them still a giggly mess by the time they got completely naked, but in no rush now, they had all night and both took advantage of it intending to enjoy every minute together, after wanting this for so long. 

Things progressed rapidly though, the want to savour the moment versus long awaited want was difficult to marry, but somewhat silently from there, beyond the moans, and hissings and curses from both as they freely, finally, got to exploring each other. 

When Armie made his way down Tim’s body with his mouth, mapping out sensitive places to kiss and mark, before settling between his legs, hoisting the other man’s legs on his shoulders and opening him up the noises from both filled the room. 

Five minutes? Ten? Who was even keeping track by that point, Tim was grasping him hard by the scalp, begging him for what, it wasn’t clear - Armie couldn’t help but smile as he moved over to kissing his inner thigh, before pulling away altogether to a whine from his counterpart.

“Easy, we just need some things for this next part.” he clarified, moving to his bedside locker, grabbing what they needed. 

“You know you can stop any -” he began but got cut off by a very hard tweak to a nipple.

 _Fuck_.

“Shut the _fuck_ up if you stop this now so help me God, Ham.”

Both of them burst out laughing then, as Armie threw the condoms and lube on the bed, before leaning in for more kisses. He wasn’t sure Tim would want to go there after where he’d been, but no, zero hesitation, which was equal parts hot, and gross. 

*************

“I’ve been practicing, you know.” Timmy all but panted, Armie was three fingers deep at his point and really trying not to _die_ with want. The only sounds in the room was them, his bedside clock ticking away, and his heart that was in his throat the entire time.

“Please don’t tell me things like _that_ -” 

He laughed and Armie felt it rather than heard it.

“A _lot_. And always thinking of you -” he added, cocky now he saw the affect this knowledge had on the other man.

“Tim I swear to Jesus -”

At that he arched his back when Armie hit a particular spot.

“Jesus, Fuck … okay… okay… _Please_.”

“The other girls not doing it for you huh?” Armie asked, adding more lube. Timmy just shook his head rapidly, his eyes still closed, lost in pleasure as the cool liquid met his warmth. 

“I didn’t … couldn’t … didn’t want to with them -”

“So then why -”

“You know why,” at that he made eye contact with Armie, and yeah, they both knew why. Instead of a witty comeback, Armie just kissed him quiet for a time before things got messy, and blurry, and blissful.

The dam of emotions and pent up frustrations just burst and suddenly the sweetness was gone and all that was left was that animalistic urge that neither of them cared much to restrain any further. Timmy couldn’t stop kissing him, couldn’t _stop_ touching him.

“You with me, Armie?” he added, laughing.

It earned Tim another kiss.

“Tell me what you want,” Tim murmured before nipping down on Armie’s shoulder, then kissing up his neck and onto his jaw. Armie’s toes may have curled. How could they not. 

"Fuck," he said, breathless. "Tim..." Armie countered, leaving wet and slow kisses in his wake all the way down Tim’s torso as his slim hips moved helplessly, as he got closer to where Tim really needed him. He smiled into his skin as Tim grasped for his shoulders again, chanting a whisper of ‘yes, fucking yes’.

Armie was everywhere, every part of him suddenly. Nothing was left untouched, unkissed, Timmy felt like he was having an out of body experience while still feeling every inch of what was going on in his body. For a time he wasn’t sure where he began and Armie ended, it was surreal, and intense and toe curlingly memorable. But, at the same time he could feel Armie holding back, he was careful - _so_ careful - so gentle when they started, slow, and paced all for Tim. It made him emotional to feel so completely wrapped up in this other person, a feeling he’d never had prior, and he wondered if he would ever have again?

He felt so completely safe, and he desperately wanted Armie to feel that too, to just, be himself, completely. So when they shifted, and it allowed Timmy on top, he made it very clear even without speaking that he didn’t want Armie to hold back, he himself taking things further, rougher, faster. Wordlessly, 

Before everything went blurry around the edges, watching Armie slide in and out of him so effortlessly, holding him still so carefully, half sitting up to make it easier for Timmy to position just how he needed, Timmy founded it difficult _not_ to dig his fingernails into Armie’s scalp again and again, making his eyes roll before pulling him in for more and more kisses - just before Timmy spilled all over Armie’s torso, the friction too much, and then, like dominoes, it causing Armie to lose what control he had left, and follow close behind. Literally.

Dead, that’s how Timmy felt. Dead and like he had just run a marathon. His legs were jellied, his breathing uneven. He didn’t have the energy to move from where he was, instead face planted happily into Armie’s neck, while Armie held on to him tight, pulling out as gently as possible - though it still hurt just a bit. 

“Fuck.” Timmy muttered, muffled into his neck, trying to get his breathing under control.

“ Yeah my thoughts exactly.” Armie added before hugging him again, his breathing just as bad, or as good, depending on how you looked at it. A few seconds passed, and Tim could feel himself lulling into a daze, when he heard a whisper. 

“Can you move? I’mma move us okay?” 

Instead of speaking, he merely nodded and soon he had his back to the bed, head on a pillow, with a sigh. Before he could say anything Armie was up. 

“Wha -”

“Be right back, don’t move.” He added, sweetly, with a smile before he pecked him on the cheek and disappeared out of the room. 

“Can’t anyway but what the fuck -”

When he returned - too long later he was smiling, still naked and holding a face cloth, towel and a big glass of juice. The juice he handed to Timmy, not realising how thirsty he was - while Armie then gingerly wiped and patted Timmy down, then himself, before drying off and rolling both into a ball and slam dunking them in his laundry basket on the other side of the room. For both, Timmy was thankful. He handed him what remained of the juice, Armie drank it down happily before literally hopping back into bed, and pulling his big, fluffy white quilt around them.

“Smart thinking. I needed that.”

“The juice or the sex?”

Timmy smirked, snuggling in, enjoying being the automatic little spoon, relaxing again instantly.

“Both? I mean, definitely both.”

“Mmm definitely both,” Armie parroted, quietly, and soon his breathing evened out too.

******

Timmy woke up to the greyish toned room that usually meant it was just before sunrise. He didn’t recognise where it was at first, but the giant lump of a man he was lying on soon put that to rights. He smiled as he remembered the night before, then winched when he tried to move. 

Definitely unforgettable. 

He gingerly walked to the bathroom to take care of business, wash his hands and splash some water on his face. Looking into Armie’s bathroom mirror, he saw a guy that had a long road ahead of him, but one he’d take if it meant he got to where he was going, and still retained a semblance of self. He was slowly, but surely learning who that self was. He grabbed his phone out of his discarded pant pocket on the floor in passing, as suspected there was a bunch of texts in the group chat asking where the fuck he was. He smiled. Shot off a dismissive text about drinking too much and stumbling home to sleep it off. Finished it with a shit ton of emojis just to make them feel better about what was probably a weak alibi, before he slipped back into Armie’s big bed again. 

“Okay?” came a deep grumble from under the duvet. 

“Yep alls good, go back to sleep.”

“Hmph.” Was all sleepy guy could manage before his arms enveloped him back into the cuddle zone again. Timmy sighed happily and slept like a rock.

*********

Armie smiled at him across the kitchen table. Both of them sneaking glances at the other over the hastily prepared omelettes and coffee. Both of them smirking between bites, before cracking up.

“So -” Armie began, sitting back, finished with his food. 

“”So.”

Armie smiled. 

“How are we feeling about last night?”

“We?”

Armie rolled his eyes at himself. “You. I know how I’m feeling… but -”

“How are you feeling?” 

“I asked first.”

It was Timmy’s turn to roll his eyes then.

“I feel ... good about it. A little um, tender… but.” They both smiled. “I gotta say, all the practice in the world? Nothing compared to the uh… real thing.” he blushed, swallowing the last of his eggs. 

“I didn’t go too -”

“No, like in a good way? If that -”

“Yeah it does.” Maybe Armie was blushing too, it didn’t matter, he needed to do a post game round up, so to speak, he needed to make sure Tim was okay. “Won’t your mom be worried -”

“Nah.” He sipped his coffee then, “I told her I was staying with a friend - and I told the friend I went home with a hangover, so no one will be looking for me until at least tomorrow.” he smiled holding out his hand for Armie to take, which he did, happily.

“So we have time.”

“Speaking of time …” 

Tim exhaled squeezing his hand once before standing up, walking around the table and coming to his side before leaning down to kiss him. 

“Do we have to talk about this now?” 

They did. Armie got up and slowly led them to the living room, where they both crashed over dramatically on the couch. Tim snuggled under Armie’s arm in an instant. 

“So.”

“Yeah…” he snuggled harder. “I’m leaving in ten days.”

That surprised, and also didn’t surprise, Armie.

“You’re not staying for graduation?”

Timmy looked up at him incredulously then. “Dude, it’s pointless anyway… but mom wanted me to until I ...well I wanted to get the hell out of this town you know? Didn’t really have much to hang around for, and the extra couple of weeks in London, I figured would help me settle in. I had enough saved for rent and stuff before the play starts, and if it goes on tour - well…” he shrugged. “Now though... Kinda wish -”

Armie just kissed his temple. “I know, it’s okay though, we knew this thing … well… we knew right?”

Armie felt him nod. 

“Yeah.”

“So what say we have fun the next week or so, just ...hang when we can ... maybe take that hike I promised to take you on …”

Tim grunted.

“You wanna go on a hike? God, you’re actually a lunatic.”

“The views, Timothee, the views!” 

Both laughed then.

“I’d rather you take me to bed, and we can both enjoy the view from there.” Tim shrugged off his cuddle then, standing for a second before walking to the living room door…

“Lame. That was so lame. That was the lamest shit I’ve ever -”

“You comin’ or not?” Was all he got in the way of an interruption. A smug smile was all he saw as Tim made his way into the hallway, and up the staircase.

Well, far be it from him to refuse a lame but tempting invitation.

*****

It was what it was, is what Timmy kept telling himself. Telling himself it every time they kissed, or had sex, or held hands in the car on their way to some random ass hipster coffee shop he’d found on some random ass Yelp rabbit hole. It’s what he told himself when he did agree, and eventually finished the hike to end all hikes (the views _were_ beautiful, the look on Armie’s face as he showed it off, more so,). It’s also what he told himself when they’d do stupid, domestic shit like attempt to cook dinner ( “you should know at least three meals that aren’t toasted bread, trust me, I learned the hard way,” he’d say), and Timmy melted in the fantasy of doing this always… of asking Armie to come to London, of asking him to make this thing that always had a expiry date … to maybe extend the shelf life. 

Realistically he knew he couldn’t, he knew, regardless of how things shook out between them, that they were on different paths - as much as he day dreamed about a collision, his common sense told him no. It didn’t help that he was assbackwards in love with the guy, it didn’t help that he had tried really hard NOT to fall in love with the guy, and had failed so spectacularly… no it didn’t matter, because all that mattered was right then, sitting in his backyard, his second to last night in town gorging on too much food from Luca’s (given with a knowing smile as he went to pick it up, with Armie’s name on the order…) that this was the last dance. Metaphorically speaking.

He’d spent his days with his friends, or having lunch with his mom, visiting her on her shift when he could, bringing her treats, seeing all her co-workers - all of them wishing him well on his adventures, but his evenings, he’d mark out for Armie. And soon enough his last few days went faster than he would have liked, and the big ass dinner - complete with a few beers and a firepit, was basically their last-last thing. His next day was dedicated to packing, and heading to the airport for a red eye. 

They were seated next to each other at the pit, sipping their beers as the sun finally faded. 

“You’re unusually quiet.” Armie noted, touching his bare foot to Timmy’s.

“Hm? Yeah.” He snapped out of his trance at the fire dancing in front of him. “Lots to think about …”

“It’s exciting though, I know it’s probably scary as hell too… Moving so far away...”

That was part of it, but he figured he was also just feeling the reality of their goodbye. Looming. 

Instead of answering him, he leaned up and kissed Armie, while he still had the privilege. 

“I know, it’ll be hard work but I’m ready to see if i can ...and if I can’t -”

“You _can_ , don’t start that shit.” Armie answered with a laugh, putting his half finished beer on the table, Timmy handed him his too, before Armie leaned down and kissed him again, and again, before Timmy moved onto his lap. Making out with Armie was, as far as Timmy was concerned, was still one of the best ways to kill some time. He would recommend it to anyone. 

Timmy began fumbling with the button on Armie’s jeans, before peppering kissing to his neck, feeling and hearing him laugh at the obvious distraction.

“So you really don’t want to talk about this huh?”

“Nope.” He mouthed into his neck again, this time whilst getting his pants undone and yanked to his thighs, before sliding to his knees taking a cushion to land on. 

Armie just laughed, running his hand through his own hair.

“Thank fuck I don’t have neighbours… You are -”

Timmy just grinned, before taking him in his mouth, now knowing exactly how he liked this gave him an even more powerful feeling, he relished it, knowing how he could make Armie’s toes curl, make him gasp and grab on to anything to tether him to their reality before he came - this time Timmy was careful, no mess, he wanted to take it all, prove to himself that he could - he did - even if his eyes watered. Not that he got much time to even process why he was burying his emotions like he was, before a starry eyed, flushed Armie was carrying him, wrapped around the taller man, all the way into the living room, where he landed on the couch with a unceremonious ‘umph’, both of them a giggling hyper mess of feelings and fears. 

“You did that with your pants around your ankles…” Timmy got out in between laughs, Armie’s lips on his neck - kissing in between laughs. 

“You bring out the stupid in me -”

“You’re so _romantic_ , Hammer.” He added, petting his wild hair down flat, it gave him bangs, it made him look even younger than he was. 

“It’s a compliment. I spent a lot of time… trying to do the smart thing … this … was never smart… but fuck it was worth it.”

Timmy, Timmy was worth the risk. That meant more to an eighteen year old him than any trite I love yous. 

Flying high on hormones, and the reality of things rapidly counting down between them, they made their way via making out from the couch, to the hall, to finally the bedroom where neither acknowledged this as the last time, but each of them pouring all that fear, all that doubt and all the love, unspoken or spoken into making love, a term Timmy had always considered a corny, unrealistic over romanticism of fucking, before.

But after, with tears in his eyes that had no business being there, he got it, and it, like all things Armie, hit him like a brick.

Or, being punny, a Hammer.

Getting their shit together that night was hard, it was as if something was gluing both in place, redressing slowly, making their way to his car slower still. Driving at an elderly pace… before pulling up a street away from Timmy’s place. Both of them quiet, both of them silently devastated. They agreed, no cheesy goodbyes … not their style, but it also felt … intense to not say it. Knowing he’d never, probably, never, see him again. 

Armie unbuckled his seatbelt. Nudged Tim and smiled.

“No one’s dying… we’re being dramatic.” he said, quietly, sadly, his smile false now.

“I know, then why does it feel like someone is?”

Armie nodded. 

“You know why we -”

“Course I do. I show up here in six months with you as my boyfriend and what? Expect everyone to forget who you are?” He shook his head at himself. “Fucking sucks though.” he smiled then before leaning over and kissing him on the cheek - another bold move of many where Armie was concerned, moving then to exit the car, he leaned back in the open window.

Armie was pressing his lips together, eyes watery, it always broke Tim, but they had agreed, no dramatic goodbyes. 

Instead he just nodded, and Armie nodded back, before he turned around and started walking back towards his place. He didn’t look back but he knew Armie was watching him in the rearview mirror. 

When he turned the corner if tears fell then, well that was his business. 

`````````````````````

They had agreed, no stupid goodbyes, because no one was dying, they knew that what they had always had a starting point and and ending attached, it was just the nature of their circumstances. But Armie found himself going against every instinct in his brain as he got into his car that next evening and drove; they had agreed, no dramatic platitudes. It was why, in the end he had held out on giving Timmy the gift. It was trite, and it was dramatic in it’s lameness. But as he watched him turn the corner to go to his mother’s place, regret set it, and Armie hated unnecessary regret, he had enough of that to last him a lifetime, he didn’t want Timmy in that category, ever. 

So he got in the damn car and he drove, the humidity at an all time high, his nerves matching it in numbers too. But fuck it, like all things concerning Timmy, his brain didn’t fully get on board until after decisions were made. 

He knew his plans - his mom was dropping him off at the bus station, then he’d bus it to the smaller airport, then fly to JFK - and then Red Eye to London. 

Did this make him a stalker? That was the question of the hour, as he pulled into the parking lot and he hoped he hadn’t missed him. 

He turned the corner into the station, and sure enough there he was hugging his mom, his suitcase at his side, his backpack on his shoulders. Armie waited to see if Nicole would stay, if she did, did he still go ahead and give him the present? 

He was torn, but only for a minute or so, he saw Timmy hug her again and all but shoo his mom away with a laugh as what appeared to be his bus appeared. He saw her walk away, emotional but smiling, and knew he only had a second before Timmy got on that bus. 

“Tim?” he opened, and Timmy looked at him, eyes wide, shoving his giant suitcase in the luggage hold of the bus. He looked around before stepping up to him.

“Hey what …” they moved to the edge of the sidewalk, other passengers were starting to board. 

“I um, I know we said ...what we said and this ...is very … the opposite of that,” he smiled, running his hand nervously through his hair, “but it’s not as dramatic as it looks, I got you a gift and I chickened out of giving it to you because i thought… fuck I don’t know, I thought it was lame? But I didn’t wanna regret -”

“I love gifts, gimme.” he laughed, cutting off Armie’s ramble. So he did, he presented him with the gift, not fancily wrapped or anything because he sucked at that. 

“Can I open it now?”

Armie was blushing from nose to navel. “Sure…”

So he did and his eyes widened again when he saw the tan leather book, all the pages empty, tipped in gold, the same gold on the cover that held his initials. 

“Wow… Armie it’s beautiful…”

“I know we live in a digital age and everything is how it is online … but I want you to think about doing this too - for focus, for … yourself…” for me. “Write it down.”

“It?” Timmy asked, looking up, now teary eyed and it pulled at Armie’s heart strings. 

“Your story, any story, all the stories.” he laughed at himself, “so one day, decades from now I can sit down as an old man and read all about it. Might make it in there as a paragraph or two…”

“Paragraph?” Timmy asked, incredulous. Armie blushed harder, at the silly expectation that he would, this would, they would, matter years from now. 

“A sentence or two then… I won’t complain.” He smiled, or tried to.

Tim just rolled his eyes, “There’d be at least a chapter, maybe two,” with a huffed laugh, he then head first went for a full body hug, and despite the station being busy, and his bus filling up, Armie took what he could get, and hugged him back just as hard. When Timmy pulled back, watery eyed and frowning. 

“We’re so fuckin’ dramatic right now, like all that’s missing is some indie 90s soundtrack.” 

It made them both laugh, breaking that tension. 

“Thank you.” 

“Welcome,” was all Armie could muster as they smiled at each other again. Watching him then put the book in his bag, and sling his back back over his shoulder. 

“Go, you’re missing all the good seats.”

He pushed his lips together, as if he wanted to say something else but didn’t. So he didn’t. And neither did Armie.

_No goodbyes._

But a wave, a nod, and a little heartbreak, it was what it was. Right?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Timmy turns 30.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the love on this little adventure! Hope you enjoy! xoxox

**Epilogue** : 

It wasn’t his scene, it was too loud, and too much and far, far too many people - and frankly they were ripping people off with the price of those cocktails. But this is what it was to be almost thirty five, clubbing, bar hopping really lost its shine after a decade or so of indulging, and in the LA Gay Scene in particular, Armie was, in a word, tired. 

His friends however were  _ not _ , and so he allowed them to drag him along, somewhat against his will, even if, after a few of those over priced drinks, he always found himself having fun, dancing - badly - singing along - worse, and generally attempting at being a regular human being. Alexi’s sister’s boyfriend's agent or whatever, had told Ryan that a private party that they should all ‘swing by’ that night, and well, it would be rude to turn down yet another random yet apparently a sought after invite. The venue was a warehouse converted, plush seating, cosy corners, dimly lit with the boom of the music hitting you in the soul as you walked in. Complimentary shots awaited them, which, okay that helped. He noticed the huge elegant HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY! Banner draped across the entrance too, security looking unimpressed, it all added up to being someone ‘important’ having a party in Hollywood, which, for that town, was everyone who thought themselves a someone. 

Platters of food passed and smelled really good, but it was LA so of course the majority of them were left uneaten, something he always thought was a damn shame. He mingled a little with his friends, before one by one they disappeared to other acquaintances, to dance, to get drinks, before he knew it he was standing at a tall table, alone. Too tall to hide, too late to duck out, he downed his drink before heading to the bar for another. He wasn’t sure where the person celebrating their birthday actually was inside that heady mess, but he figured it was inside some VIP’s _VIP_ lounge or something, whoever they were, they had - or their people - had gone all out on making it look as if you’d stepped inside a dream. Two minutes in and he was being hit on, by a woman - which - yeah, his artist friends told him all the time, he was the straightest looking gay man, which he was sure he was meant to find insulting, but he mostly found he didn’t care. The woman was nice, she was very sweet, also very forward, but when it came down to it, he drained his beer, and made her aware that she wasn’t going to get what she was looking for from him, she smiled, grazed his arm and shook her head ‘it’s always the hot ones…’. Before walking away, making him smile. 

It was just then that the chorus of Happy Birthday ramped up, and he figured it would be rude not to head toward the noise, and see who all this fuss was for, and of course join in on a chorus or two, it was only polite. 

He edged his way closer, his height an eternal advantage there, people seemed to just part for him, until he was over by a circle of plush velvet seating, a very large table in the middle and on it stood a cake, and a man, the same height as the neon blue cake, blowing out his candles to the chorus from those around him - it took Armie longer than he wanted to admit to register the name being chanted, he was too busy marveling at the side of the baked creation and the lanky guy then bowing bashfully at his audience, it wasn’t until fully faced with a bashful bow all his own that his brain lit up.

_“Wooo Happy 30th Birthday Timothee!”_ One girl to his left shouted out, but Timmy, Timmy only had eyes for Armie, both locked on each other in a state of humorous shock. Before Armie knew what was happening, the other man, the birthday boy, had taken one giant step off the table, one on to the plush seating and in what seemed like seconds, had his arms wrapped around Armie tightly, in the best hug Armie had ever recalled getting in his life. Had he even ever been hugged properly before this? It didn’t feel like it. 

This felt like a dream. He knew, vaguely, that there were people watching, probably snapping pictures, but it didn’t matter, nor did it matter that the hug itself maybe lasted five seconds, ten at most, for him it felt like a lifetime. 

“Please don’t go anywhere okay? I wanna talk to you but I gotta do this -” 

Armie just nodded, unsure of what even to say - everyone - everyone was watching. Timmy then just jumped back, over the couch, and beside his cake and friends grabbing the mic his tall lady friend in the green dress was holding. And he watched him do it, he watched him switch on whatever it was that made him the star he’d become. 

It was mesmerising. 

“Thank you all so much for this, and THIS amazing cake -Damn, Gia … it’s taller than me, but  _ is  _ it as tasty -” he joked, and everyone laughed, before he shook his head bashfully, “shit though seriously thanks so much for coming out tonight to celebrate me getting old as FUCK, but turn it up because we’re still here for a good time! Love you!” The mic was literally dropped and the music filled the building again, the lights flashing, people moving and mingling and dancing. The giant over the top cake got wheeled away, and all Armie could think of was ‘what a waste.’ 

When he looked back his friends were all standing at the bar, eyes on him a series of ‘what the fucking fuck faces’ happened as he made his way over to them.

“Okay, you gonna explain that or…?” 

Armie just shrugged.

“Dude, how the fuck do you know Timothee Chalamet and how did WE not know you knew him?”Asha asked, her eyes wide, the boyfriend and the reason Armie got dragged out that night, Ryan stood next to her, the same question on his face. Eric was ...somewhere else, no doubt finding an equally hot model type to hang out with. Ryan was a talent agent, they had met when Armie moved back to LA - they were roommates, and gym buddies for a year, before he met Asha. They’d been love’s young … or thirty five year old’s dream ever since, three years later. Before Armie could form a lie as to how he knew A list actor guy - said actor guy bounced over to them, smiling wide, eyes bright, dark liquored drink in hand. 

“Hey!” he said, moving once again to hug Armie, this time one armed, while greeting his friends. 

“Ryan you made it! This must be Asha, hey so good to meet you - thanks for coming!” 

Armie was startled, but even shocked he looked around at the hoards of people and wondered why his friends were special to him… or did he just behave this way with everyone?”

“Oh no problem that’s for the invite - this place is insane.” 

Timmy looked from Ryan nodding to Armie, his smile got wider.

“Yeah my manager set this shit up, honestly, seems a bit over the top but hey … people are having a good time so,” he shrugged and Ryan interjected.

“So uh how do you know my boy Armie here?” 

Timmy blinked at Armie then, if a facial expression could have a stutter, it would have been that. 

“Oh uhm, well -”

“I met Timmy while I was teaching in New York.” Vague. Enough for now.

“Right ha, yeah that’s … I mean it’s been a while I …” 

From the outside, Armie knew how they must have looked, Timmy looked dazzled, and more than a little buzzed, Armie wasn’t far off it, he was sure - it was just a shock and a great one at that, for a change. When the conversation stalled, and it did, because there was so much Armie wanted to say, but only to Timmy… they couldn’t take their eyes off each other, and again, Armie knew how that must have looked. Asha picked up on it of course, Ryan not so much.

“Listen, you guys want any food, Ry and I are going to get some food.” 

Timmy shook his head, Armie said no.

“But we just ate -” Ryan attempted before she rolled her eyes. 

“Hun there’s egg rolls, and look, sushi! Let’s go…” she grinned at Armie in passing.

“Happy Birthday again Timothee,” she added, before leaning in to kiss his cheek, one side then the other. 

Both men stood speechless for a second.

“I … can’t believe you’re here this is -”

“Honestly I um I didn’t even know whose party it was - Ryan just said there were work people here and …”

“Yeah my agent is looking to recruit him, he’s a good guy.” 

He was. Armie nodded in agreement.

“You look -” they both began in unison. Laughter following. 

“It’s been too long, Armie…”

That was for damn sure.

“Are you um, here with anyone specific?” Timmy attempted, failing at casual. Armie just blushed and hated himself for it.

“Nah, just my friends for … well they were forcing me to get out of the house. Hermit mode was activated at Thanksgiving and honestly it was hard to shake it off.”

“So… no date.”

“Rubbing salt in my single wounds here, Tim?” He asked, as Timmy took a sip of his drink. 

“No, just making sure i wouldn’t be stepping on anyone’s toes if I were to start flirting with you that’s all.” As blunt as ever, Armie realised. 

“Start? Uh, did you miss the rather dramatic hug in which you literally bounced over furniture to get to me? In front of everyone?”

Timmy just laughed.

“Honestly I … thought I made you up, I thought... fuck that guy looks like Armie… longer hair, beard - which look  _ fire _ , by the way, but … for those few seconds I thought no, there was no way… and yet here you are.”

“Here I am.”

“Birthday wish.”

“ _Bullshit_.” Armie countered. Because, no way.

“I swear… I mean you were, just not THIS birthday … Do you remember the last birthday I had around you? What I wanted then?” He smiled, full of mischief. 

Armie itched his ear, painfully, vividly aware of what eighteen year old Timmy had wanted. Had shown up to his house for too.

“Um… well…”

Timmy just made a face.

“I wasn’t very subtle.”

“No you weren’t.”

“Would it shock you if you learned I got even more blunt with time?”

That made Armie laugh.

“Getting everything you want as a super star… made you more blatant? Can’t say I’m shocked.”

“I don’t always get what I want…” he argued, half assed. Armie just motioned to the room they were in, filled to the brim with … excess of everything.

“No, I can see that.”

“Actually I didn’t want this, this is a PR thing mostly. My  _ actual  _ birthday I spent with my mom and grandma in New York…” he shrugged, and yeah his Timmy was still in there. 

“I’m glad to hear that.” 

Then Timmy smiled. “However,” Armie rolled his eyes, oh here we go. 

“However?” 

Timmy leaned up to whisper, “I still want my birthday wish.”

Armie tried to suppress the smile, as Timmy’s face dropped, the cocky ‘tude gone for a second.

“Fuck you are single, right?”

Armie merely nodded, bringing back Timmy’s smile.

“Thank fuck…”

“So this wish…”

He leaned in again.

“Third exit to the left, red door, yellow sign, it’s my way out - there’s a car there waiting for me. Driver’s name is Phil.”

“You’re not staying to enjoy your party?”

“I’ve enjoyed it plenty… I’d rather go do something else.”

“And I would be that something.”

Timmy just cocked his brows before shrugging.

“That’s up to you. I’ve gotta go make the rounds, I’m giving it fifteen minutes, tops. Then my ass in that car home. If you’re there, you’re there…”

“And if I’m not…?”

Timmy began to back away, handing his drink to a passing waiter, who’s tray was empty.

“You’ll be there.” 

***********

Timmy finally made his way to the exit, to the car, happy beyond belief that Armie was seated in the back when he hopped in. The car took off right away, and he wondered if he should have given Armie more time to bail. Not that fifteen minutes sitting there wasn’t enough, he didn’t have to show up. But he did. And he looked really happy to be there.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Timmy smiled before leaning over and just like that, twelve years fell away, and he was in the back of Armie’s boring old car, eighteen and elated that the hot guy he wanted, wanted  _ him  _ back. His heart was beating out of his chest as he softly moved in for the kiss, that Armie - just as gently reciprocated.

He had thought about seeing him again over the years, the first year away from home - the fantasy of Armie arriving to see him was a constant one, but he had imagined it more intense. But they had agreed on a clean break, and in the short run while it didn’t help his pining, in time he understood it. 

Reality of course with Armie was always more gentle, and given the years in between, Timmy was thankful that time hadn’t made him an asshole - at least when it came to sex. He climbed into the taller man’s lap, just as easily as ever, shucking off his jacket and for a second forgetting the mechanics of his shirt. Or ‘Bib’. Until Armie pulled away from the kiss with a hiss and a ‘fuck?!’. Timmy just grinned as Armie’s hands reached his bare back, save for dainty tied ribbons. 

Armie exhaled loudly, looking at Timmy’s face.

“You’re still full of surprises…” 

They kept making out and making out and making out, until the car came to a stop and just like that Timmy hopped off Armie’s lap, adjudged himself, and got out of the car. He was sure Armie was wondering what was up, but they were home. 

“Thanks Phil have a good night okay, yeah sure, I’ll call tomorrow, night.” He spoke to his driver, tipping him handsomely as Armie got out of the town car, and looked around at his place.

“Shit, Timmy this is -”

Timmy didn’t say anything back, they just let themselves in the door, he shut off the security alarm and flipped on some lights. 

“Jesus…” Armie muttered. And, sure enough the floor to ceiling windows looked over Los Angeles from on high, and at night, it was still pretty magical. 

“A tiny step up from my mom’s two bedroom huh?” he added, kicking off his shoes, watching Armie wander over to the window, lost in the lights. He followed him over, looking at what he was looking at. 

“Your mom’s place was cute don’t shit on her tastes now…” Armie spoke, full of teasing, then they got real quiet for a second, Timmy didn’t dare make a sound. 

“I missed you.” Armie said, eventually. 

Timmy didn’t feel the need to respond. Armie had to have known he missed him too. Armie wasn’t wearing a jacket, just an expensive looking white shirt - unbuttoned a few, showing just a hint of clavicle, and well fitted - extremely well, in Timmy’s opinion, black pants. It would have looked waiter- cosplay on anyone else, on him it was like he had stepped out of a Tom Ford shoot. He was tempting as always. The kind of rule breaking tempting he was in his twenties, Timmy realised, only multiplied with that little bit of age. He was scruffier, but still somehow completely put together. Timmy wanted to pull the tidy, well pressed neatness away, and make a mess with him again. And so he did. He kissed him hard, grabbing his neck, palming his shirt open, button by button - pop, pop,  _ pop _ . His pants had no belt so that made it even easier - pop, pop, the buttons went, before he tried and failed to push them down his legs. Instead he was met with resistance, as Armie used seemingly no effort at all to pin him against those floor to ceiling windows, the cold of the glass hitting his naked back, causing him to hiss. Armie just grinned between kisses, as he finally yanked the ribbons free, causing the heavy garment to fall to the floor with a thud.

Armie leaned back and took him in, Timmy wouldn’t blush under his gaze, despite his heart rate, he wasn’t that somewhat naive eighteen year old anymore, he knew himself, and he knew what he wanted now more than ever. So he let Armie look, let him watch as he unbuttoned his own pants and shoved them off, socks followed, until he was standing in his black boxers, his hands on Armie’s chest.

“You gonna stare at me all nightmare are we -”

“So. fucking. Impatient!”

Instead of answering - he didn’t get the chance - once again Armie pushed him against the window, slid to his knees and yanked his boxers to his ankles. He looked up at Timmy for just a second, a small smug smile on his lips - no doubt when he realised that Timmy was holding his breath. The second Armie took him in his mouth; he let out the breath he had been holding, but scrambled for something, anything to hold on to. Settling for Armie’s slightly longer hair - which he loved he ran his hands through his scalp, causing Armie to moan around his dick, sending shocks up Timmy’s spine like electricity. 

“How the fuck did I forget how fucking ah...fucking hard you get me.”

In response Armie just squeezed his butt cheeks roughly, and fuck, yeah no, he wasn’t going to last at this rate! 

Timmy was thankful he didn’t have neighbours, nor anyone that could see his windows for a few miles, plus a few hundred trees, because that night, getting completely taken in front of the city felt like such a delicious karma with the man he had had to hide with when they were together before. Feeling him inside him, as they moved together, Armie’s hands in his hair, around his neck, on his ass, on his dick … once again reminded how intense it was with him - a feeling he had yet to feel with other men, even men of his size. No, that particular intensity was all Armie, and Timmy’s soul reveled in it it seemed. 

Both of them loud, and messy and dirty, saying all the things that went unsaid for so long, as not once but twice they came with shouts of toe curling dizziness, as the sun crept up over the hills they both finally managed to lay in peace, Timmy on top of the man he had missed for so long, the throws usually used as decoration on the couch over them as the air, and their bodily fluids chilled on their skin. The room went from soft and barely lit to orange, brighter and brighter as the sun rose. Armie staring out, his hands never stopping their caress through Timmy’s hair. He would doze in and out of sleep, wanting so badly to stay awake for it, not wanting to miss a second of whatever this was now. But at some point his body gave in, and he must have slept. Because he woke up to the smell of coffee, carefully wrapped up in the blankets on his couch alone.

He wrapped himself in the blanket, a cape atop his nakedness, and gingerly made his way to the kitchen. He stood in the doorway taking in the sight before him, a 6’5 naked man, cooking in his rarely used kitchen. Coffee in the pot, bacon that he didn’t even know he had, on the grill, and he smelled toast. 

“Hey, good morning.” Armie said, sensing him, he walked in slowly, before Armie crossed to meet him with a quick kiss. This all brought back so many memories of their time before, Timmy was overwhelmed. 

“You don’t have a lot of food for such a giant fucking kitchen dude, I mean I’m fairly sure I could fit in your fridge and live there. They’d charge rent for that in New York.”

“Didn’t even know I had bacon.” he admitted, letting himself all but fall into Armie’s embrace for a few minutes before Armie moved to flip the pan. 

“Go sit, get coffee, this is almost done. Toast?”

“Yes please.”

And so they say, and ate in comfortable silence, sneaking glances every now and then, both aware they were basically naked. 

“I’m shocked my grease burns are to a minimal right now…” Armie spoke then making them laugh. “Fuck, Timmy I know we need to talk about a lot of stuff -”

_ Understatement.  _

“But last night I ... “

Did he regret it? Timmy was sure he didn’t. He’d been with his fair share of people since Armie, assuming that first love was just that, and all else was meant to feel different. That he would feel different with Armie again too if they ever saw each other. But no, it felt the same. He felt the same. And while that was scary, they were both free to be now, it opened a lot of doors. If they wanted to turn the handle, that is.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know what your plans are … but um, I’d like to do that again… you know maybe this time after I come pick you up and take you out on a date maybe… if you’d be into that. Like the human adults we are… civilised. That kind of thing.” He was so adorable, nervous, attempting to be funny… Timmy just stole the last piece of toast off his plate. 

“Sure, sounds fun.”

“Sound - … you’re an asshole. I’m nervous here!”

He bit into his toast, with a grin, an eye roll and a slide of his foot up Armie’s naked leg, before they fell into conversation, finally. 

Turns out Armie wasn’t a high-school teacher anymore - he taught in UCLA now - Permanent and everything. It made Timmy happy to see how happy his job made him, but he couldn’t help but poke.

“So, no other highschoolers for you huh?”

Armie froze, mid chew and rolled his eyes, before dipping his finger in his coffee and flicking it at Timmy who had nowhere to hide.

“Like I said,  _ asshole _ . And no, you were the only one I was committing felonies for…”

Timmy laughed. 

“You know, technically you didn’t even -”

“Yeah when you have to break out technicalities I still lose. No. You … you know there would … I wouldn’t.”

Yeah, he knew. 

“Now though if we … I mean not to jump the gun here, but if people find out … your job won’t it be a thing?”

Timmy merely shrugged. He had come out two years before, that in itself was a ‘scandal’, but he surfed the wave rather than letting it drown him, that year he got his second Oscar nom,  _ and  _ second snub. So he figured whatever it was that wasn’t getting him the win, wasn’t where he put his dick.

“Not to jump the gun, but no… there are people for that kind of spin… it’s complicated and not at the same time. We could say we met again and connected … which is only half a lie really. The rest is just ...no one’s business.”

Armie nodded, Timmy knew by his face that he didn’t fully get it, but if he was willing, he would.

“But not to get too ahead of ourselves yes… good okay.” He finished his toast then, his hand reaching out for Timmy’s across the table, which he took willingly. 

“I’m really proud of you, you know?”

Timmy fought the urge to blush. 

“I am… For a while I’d follow your work … then I had to stop … it … felt weird? I don’t know.”

Understandable.

“But seeing you rise, and seeing how that industry just … saw what I saw? It was so great.”

Then he paused.

“Seeing you make out badly with girls on yachts though.”

Then Timmy did roll his eyes.

“Must you remind me?”

Armie laughed big and happy then, echoing off the kitchen walls almost. 

“Sorry, sorry I tease but … yeah. You know … it’s not an easy road I guess doing what you did.”

“Everyone told me not to… but…” he shrugged. “When do I ever do what I’m told?” 

“We’ve a lot to catch up on you and I…” Armie stated as fact, letting go of Timmy’s hand then, to clear the dishes. A move Timmy recognised as his anxiety creeping in. “But we have time now right?”

They did. But there was still something in Armie’s eyes, his face that had changed.

“What’s this -” Timmy gestured to his face, demanding an answer. 

“No it’s … I mean it’s stupid but … you have all these other options now and I … I’m just this guy that teaches English Lit… I’m not -” he gestured then to the house. “ I don’t -”

“Use your words, Armie.” 

That call back seemed to knock him out of whatever was going on in his head, and he smiled, bashfully. 

“Sorry…” he exhaled, letting Timmy walk into a hug again, which he took gladly. And it was then that Timmy had his own light bulb moment. He walked out of the kitchen, still wrapped in the couch throw, like a towel around his waist, and he knew Armie was watching him, confused as he disappeared into what Armie didn’t know was his office. He rooted around in a drawer to find what he was looking for, before making his way back to the kitchen, where Armie stood, naked - so naked - and so confused. 

He handed him the journal. Old now, dog eared, worn in and used but still very beautiful. 

The realisation that hit Armie was written all over his face, as plain as the words he had snuck into the journal. 

“Tim -”

“Did you mean it then?”

His face flushed, but he just nodded, before saying yes. Of course he did.

Timmy could only nod. The vivid memory of being on that plane, and opening the seemingly empty book to find the words on the last page, in Armie’s elegant hand. 

_ I carry your heart with me I carry it in _

_ my heart) I am never without it anywhere _

_ I go you go,my dear; and whatever is done _

_ by only me is your doing, my darling. _

The words of a long dead poet rang in his ears then as it did now. He didn’t need to look. Armie just touched the cover. The pages were filled now. 

“Do you still mean it?”

Armie suppressed a smile but failed.

“Yes.”

And as insane as it sounded, that was all it took. 

That reassurance that they could, and now, they would.


End file.
